Cupidity Review

I was always led to believe that Cupid, the cherub-faced god of desire, fired arrows charged with pure love.

These magical missiles were so powerful, they say, that once they found their mark the target would be instantly overcome with powerful lust and unquenchable amore.

However, if Fugumobile's bland gallery shooter Cupidity is to be believed, a bullseye from the pint-sized god of gooeyness will generate nothing more arousing than a brisk walk.

You are Cupid, overlooking a snowy street from the comfort of a fluffy white cloud. Below, grey (and presumably loveless) pedestrians stroll past, waiting for a bolt from the blue to change their romantic fortunes.

By moving a reticule across the screen with the '2', '4', '6', and '8' keys, you can target these sorry streetwalkers and launch an arrow directly into the tops of their heads. Apparently, the way to a person's heart is through the cerebral cortex.

Unfortunately, the way to a gamer's heart is through compelling gameplay, something which Cupidity fails to deliver.

For a start, nothing changes. At all. Ever. You will always be staring at the same street, watching the same handful of avatars wander past at the same three speeds. No matter how long you play for, the difficulty never increases - a serious issue when you realise just how easy the game actually is.

You see, you have ten hearts at the top of the screen. These serve as your life indicator. Every time an arrow flies foul of its target, you lose a heart. Conversely, if you harpoon a lovesick stranger, your heart tally increases by one.

However, given the sedate pace of your targets, the likelihood of missing consistently enough to trigger a Game Over screen is so small that the only reason to stop playing is RSI or boredom.

Regrettably, boredom is precisely what you will be experiencing within just a few minutes of play. To make things worse, the repetitive shooting mechanic and the non-existent difficulty curve are exacerbated by the lack of any lovey-dovey consequences to your benignly violent actions.

When struck by an arrow, rather than grabbing the nearest warm body and smooching its face off the punctured party simply sprouts a few hearts and runs off-screen. We're not saying they have to get busy in the middle of the street, but some form of faintly amorous reaction would be welcome.

If you're happy to keep racking up an infinitely growing highscore until your phone's battery runs out, then Cupidity might be just the ego boost you've been looking for. However, if it's challenge, thrills, or fun you're after, we'd recommend you pledge you heart to another.