Some might say that a man with an unkempt beard who gets a nosebleed spending more than a tenner on a shirt might be the wrong person to review a game set in the chic world of fashion design.
We at Pocket Gamer, however, pride ourselves on judging a game on its merits, not its packaging or target audience.
That being said, it was no surprise when Jojo’s Fashion Show World Tour turned out to be as tedious and drawn out as a mid-season episode of America’s Next Top Model.Run(a)way
In a plot conveyed through sub-Devil Wears Prada dialogue exchanges between ridiculously thin characters, you play an aspiring fashionista recruited by internationally renowned designer Jojo to assist on her tour of the globe’s finest runways (Tokyo, Paris, Rio).
To advance the waif-like storyline you have to showcase Jojo’s latest designs by dressing a trio of models before shoving them onto the runway.
From a rack of frankly hideous items (dresses, tops, skirts, shoes), you have to make up complete outfits that closely match the description above each model’s head.
You select items by tapping and dragging them from a rack at the bottom of the screen - which needs to be regularly swiped to search for matching outfits - and placing them on the models, with points being awarded by judges for your selection of tops, bottoms, and shoes.
Early on, with only one or two designs to handle, it’s relatively easy to throw together some suitable clobber and flounce off with the three stars needed to unlock the next level.
Once there’s a wider selection to pick from, however, you’ll find yourself panicking when Jojo wants a Kimano Krazy but if you’ve only got Urban Rasta left. Yes, ‘panicking’.What not to play
Although the game lacks a tutorial explaining what’s needed on the runway and how to control the game, once you get to grips with the basics Jojo’s Fashion Show World Tour practically plays itself.
You can add a personal touch to designs by tweaking patterns and colours before the shows, but it’s a hollow exercise with no effect on your final score.
Instead, the game is left to rely on its low-res art, wine bar soundtrack, and limp story. None of this is a total fashion disaster, but it lacks the giddy glitz and glamour needed to make you feel like the next Vivienne Westward.