AMA AstroLove Review

There are a lot of different places you could find yourself a life partner. Across the photocopier at work, lurking in some dodgy online chat room or while out walking the dog, possibly.

But once you've reeled them in, how do you decide they're the right person for you? They've managed not to show themselves up in front of your friends? They haven't made any too-lewd demands in the bedroom? The fact you remain attracted to them despite their pig-like snoring or that their face looks ten years older without make-up first thing in the morning?

All very important clinchers in my eyes, but allow me to introduce you to another way. A tool which can – and does – tell you in no uncertain terms whether your relationship is true love or doomed to end in misery.

Step forward AMA AstroLove, a mobile application which contains information on all the signs of the Zodiac and also on how well they get on with one another. In terms of it helping you decide how well you get on with someone else, it's probably about as accurate as tossing a coin.

I'd like to say it's considerably more entertaining than the coin-tossing though. Sadly, it's really not, having shockingly sparse content and fairly bland presentation, too. True, there aren't many ways to spruce up a horoscope application – but we'd at least expect the star sign readings to be a little more comprehensive than they are.

The game begins with you being invited into Lady Irma's mystic chamber, which sounds a bit seedy but Irma has a crystal ball and a cat, so she would appear to be a legitimate astrologer.

Entering your date of birth then reveals your star sign, just in case you didn't know it. You're then asked to enter your birth time, which determines your ascending sign. This, however, just seems to be there for show since changing it didn't alter my reading in the slightest.

Next, you should prepare for a horoscope reading that could have been penned by Simon Cowell. At least, if you are –like myself – a Capricorn.

"Capricorns can prove quite interesting after getting to know them. You just have to watch what you say and be as non-threatening as you can," Lady Irma notes.

Which makes all Capricorns sound like Rottweilers that were sadly kicked as puppies and are subsequently prone to nervous aggression. Or at least like Naomi Campbell.

Further light-hearted cheer came from my personality summation (rigid, harsh and pessimistic) and the word that summed up my relationship (hostility). Which is actually about 50 per cent accurate but that doesn't really change the fact most people would probably prefer a slightly more light and breezy horoscope reading.

Aside from being able to save compatibility readings for up to ten different signs and also read about all the signs, there's nothing else in the game. The 100 or so word summations of each sign are about as in-depth as you'd get in a magazine and clearly once you've run out of people to tell how selfish, boring and unsubtle they are, there's not much else to use this application for.

Not long ago, we reviewed Mystic Meg's Magic Numbers, which wasn't brilliant but at least it had the decency to slot in some mini-games and better written personality readings. AMA AstroLove, in contrast, is a lacklustre effort that sadly doesn't even bother to dress up what little content it has.