Game Reviews

Soccer Physics

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|
iOS
| Soccer Physics
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Soccer Physics
|
iOS
| Soccer Physics

My goalkeeper is balancing on my striker's head. Or he would be if my striker had a head. A beach ball is being punted back and forth by another pair of headless footballers on the other side of the pitch.

One of them leaps into the air, stomps on the ball, and sends it spinning backwards into his own goal. A victory. A hard-fought victory.

Soccer Physics is a brilliantly ridiculous game, full of the sort of randomly occurring moments that you can't help but guffaw at.

Throw in some same-device multiplayer and you're left with a crazed package that, while it might be a little shallow, will still have you cackling with joy as you play.

Have it

There are two control schemes. One sees you bouncing both of your players with a single button, the other lets you control them individually. Neither offers much in the way of finesse, which is the whole point.

A tap will send them leaping into the air, feet trailing to try and smash the ball. When they land they'll topple and flop, meaning your next tap will push them off-kilter again. Using one of your players to push the other into the ball is a perfectly acceptable technique.

You'll spend most of your time smashing your players' heads into the opposing team. A lot of the time your keeper will be upside down. In the opposition's goal. Wobbling.

The game also tosses new environmental challenges at you. The ball changes shape, the players' heads fall off, the goals change sizes, and the pitch gets covered in ice. And you laugh. Oh how you laugh.

That's not association football

Play with a friend or two and you'll make some of your own ridiculous stories. Like the time I chipped the opposite team, hit the bar, and headed the resulting bounce-back into my own goal.

Soccer Physics isn't the sort of game you sink hours of your life into, but you'll have a smile plastered across your face whenever you do pick it up.

Soccer Physics

A beautifully crazed button masher, Soccer Physics isn't deep, but it is hilarious
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