The next eight days in handheld games

We live in a world of lies. The corporations are against us. No, it's not the backstory to the latest first-person shooter set in a corrupt, capitalist superpower, but rather the state of the handheld release schedule.

Last week we were promised Platinum PSP titles Burnout Legends and Need for Speed Rivals.

This week it turns out the former has been wheeled back into the garage and won't re-emerge on July 21st, while the latter has mysteriously disappeared – perhaps it's been broken up and sold as parts. Similar dismembering may have befallen Cabbage Patch Kids: The Patch Puppy Rescue, though it's not something we expect many GBA owners will be losing any sleep over.

More positive still than the thought of a Cabbage Patch Kid being cut into pieces and fed to the Swans in Hyde Park – difficult to top, I realise – is the fact that all three new PSP releases due tomorrow remain on track, as does the excellent (and aptly named) New Super Mario Bros. on DS. Good thing too, given it's the only representative on Nintendo's handheld.

A week from then and the situation reverses, though, with Nintendo's handhelds dominating the shop shelves. But at least PSP gets to share the treasure of the day's biggest release, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. Arr, arr, arr, indeed.