Something for Sven's weekend

It seems like Sven can do no right in the fans' eyes. England are through to the group stages with a game to spare, they've scored two goals, kept two clean sheets and he's even managed to annoy Alex Ferguson by playing Rooney – yet still the bespectacled Swede is getting it in the neck.

Whilst the man might just possibly be the world's worst footballing tactician, we reckon he still deserves a break (at least until we get knocked out by the Germans), so we've put together this week's round-up for him, combining a variety of his favourite non-footie pastimes.

For instance, there's nothing the coach likes better than a game of cards, so a spot of Sexy Poker would probably be a good way to kick things off, although being a shy sort he might prefer Erotic Solitaire, with the friendly Adele Stevens.

Then again, with a multi-million pound salary burning a hole in his tracksuit, we'd guess that a trip to the casino would also be welcome; Gameloft Casino fits in nicely, before a quick spot on the Boob Machine and maybe even a day at the races via Breeders Quest.

Of course, if Sven fancies a little more culture he can always indulge his love of architecture via Chicks with Bricks or just pop into a country pub with his paper for a game of Erotic Darts or Erotic Sudoku before heading home to enjoy a good book, like The Karma Sutra or just counting sheep, as the horny ewe-pleasing ram in the entirely unrelated Sven 004. Hopefully he'll drift off to thoughts of Sexy Soccer.

Swede dreams Sven!