Live Strip Poker

I love poker. Unfortunately, my girlfriend doesn't share this enthusiam. Sitting in front of a computer for five hours gambling away your wages doesn't appeal to her - I can't think why. Heads-up is even more exciting; a tense, palm-sweating mind game between two people where lying and cheating is the key to extorting the most money out of one another.

A bit like marriage, I suppose.

Texas Hold'em is undoubtedly the most popular form of poker, but here the game is five-card draw. Play begins with you and your opponent being dealt five cards, after which a round of betting occurs. Then comes the 'draw' phase, where either player may replace any of their cards with those in the deck. Another round of betting follows before the cards are finally revealed to see who has the best hand.

If you were unfamiliar with five-card draw before reading this review, then the above rules will be worth their weight in gold chips. The developers must have amnesia, you see, because they forgot to include any instructions in the Help menu. Tut-tut.

The story is laughable and needs mentioning for that fact alone. You're a freelance photographer who's been asked to take saucy pictures of hot women. It's a tough life.

Luckily for you, 'all the models are addicted poker gamblers'. Well, wouldn't you just know it? I'm beginning to think I'm in the wrong profession; this photography lark sounds alright!

You might have noticed a lack of references to gameplay. There's a reason. You start off with only one model to play against, with a further two being unlocked when you gain enough Game Points. The higher the difficulty level the more points you receive.

The control system works fine, but the enemy AI is questionable. Your opponent will often call any bet you make with absolutely nothing in her hand, leaving you with no reason to believe that chucking all your money into the pot with any five cards is a bad idea.

But all is not lost, right? After all, the pull of a smutty game like this is seeing beautiful women take their clothes off. Surely there's a bevy of buxom bombshells to gaze upon?

Afraid not. The terrible truth is that this title isn't very titillating. Each to their own of course, but we don't think the Live Strip Poker girls have really got it going on.

Live Strip Poker doesn't have too many redeeming features. It's fine for a quick five-minute flutter, but there's no real depth or incentive to keep you coming back for more. As is the case with so many of these casino/porn hybrid games, the presentation is a real botch job and only helps to cast a shadow over an already drab experience.