Hentai Pairs Review

Pairs is a childlike game. It's simple to learn and just engrossing enough to keep the mind of a four-year old off Ribena and Jaffa Cakes, at least for a short while. The theme is almost always similarly simple, with most decks containing matching sets of farm animals, foods or cartoon characters.

The game nurtures useful skills, such as reaction time, improved short-term memory and a competitive edge, surreptitiously indoctrinating participants into gaming at a young age. If any tiny tots got a hold of the deck used in Hentai Pairs, however, they might learn a little bit more than how to stave off cravings for e-number laden food.

Hentai Pairs, you see, is full of anime porn. Not of the hardcore sort but still not exactly suitable for young eyes. But aside from the fact that the game contains 18 images of girls with busts like beach balls and exaggerated saucer-sized eyes to match, there is little else to differentiate it from the card-based table top classic. And seeing as the game is on a mobile, it is a bit more discreet to play on the train home from work than with a real Hentai deck. Or so we assume, obviously.

Just in case any of you spent your childhood in the lap of luxury playing with Transformers and Thundercats figures and maybe even video games and thus haven't indulged before, the concept of pairs (which accounts for the entire gameplay on offer here) is about as simple as a village idiot.

You start with a pack of cards comprised of a selection of doubled up image cards – in Hentai Pairs there are 18 different images, therefore 36 cards in total. These are arranged face down and you begin by selecting a card which is revealed to you. The aim of the game is to then find its twin in the pack by uncovering the other cards – you are only allowed to view one upturned card at a time.

Once you have matched all of the 18 cards through a process involving a little luck and mostly memory, the game is finished. You simply work against the clock and your own number of attempts in order to achieve the best high score possible.

And that is all there is to Hentai Pairs, gamewise. The presentation is slick, with a serene title screen that betrays nothing of the naughty pictures in the game. For the record, the images themselves are decidedly tame, with nothing more gratuitous than the sight of some breasts and the odd girl-on-girl cuddle.

So you can't criticize Hentai Pairs in terms of the game mechanic given that there really isn't anything wrong with it. The core problem is that the game is minuscule, and that there is little challenge and therefore no motivation to go back to better your high score after the second or third attempt.

As one section of a bigger game, Hentai Pairs might have been a mildly entertaining distraction. On its own, it's far too threadbare to justify the asking price, no matter how rabid your appetite for anime porn.

Spend your money on a real Hentai pairs deck; just don't mix it up with the Care Bears deck you keep handy for visitors with sprogs.