Top 10 celebs who don't have a mobile game but should

Let's face it, celebrity games have been a bit hit and miss on mobile. For every Paris Hilton's Diamond Quest (good) there's a few Jordan Uncovered (bad). Yet in the post-Heat era, celebrities are megabrands in their own right: arguably bigger than many movies, TV shows or console games.

What's more, Jordan and Paris aside, it's a largely untapped market. Until now, at least. For we've fleshed out proposals for ten celebs that, if released as mobile games by suitably insane brave publishers, would be assured of success*. They are as follows:

Britney Rehab Nights
Based on Gameloft's popular New York Nights and Miami Nights sims, this would be the perfect Britney spin-off. You pinball between clubs and more clubs in Las Vegas and LA, scoring points as you gradually destroy your credibility, while there are bonuses for every failed drug test/paparazzi umbrella attack. There's potential for a musical mini-game too, where you progress by miming and dancing as half-arsedly as possible in an ill-advised bikini.

Kamikaze Mills-McCartney
Based on Digital Chocolate's Kamikaze Robots, this sees you bouncing everyone's least favourite estranged wife (well, everyone's in the McCartney clan) down a hillside, scoring points for artistic somersaults. And the key feature? Well, you know how the bots in Kamikaze Robots have bits of their bodies fly off if they land awkwardly? ...Errrrrr, you get the idea. To fend off accusations of misogynistic violence, there would have to be a mode where you fling Paul down an equally sheer slope while striking his thumbs aloft pose.

Brand on the Run
Straightforward racing game where Russell Brand has to flee through London, chased by the three remaining glamour models he hasn't yet seduced for A Night of Passion. It includes a cutting-edge slow-motion cobble-stoned section when Russ' tight kecks and pointy shoes slow him down to a hobble.

Ukulele Legend
Gameloft's Guitar Legend, except with George Formby as the star, and versions of his greatest hits as the music. Throw in bonus unlockable window-cleaning and lamppost-leaning mini-games, too.

Radcliffe's Extreme Running
Like Playman Extreme Running, except with less rooftops, and more pooing in the road. A surefire hit.

Brangelina Adoption Quest
Compelling adventure game that sees your heroes – one male, one female – travelling through a variety of exotic locations hunting for orphans to adopt, dodging a host of enemies along the way (paparazzi, showbiz columnists, and an enraged Jennifer Aniston boss character). We were going to suggest a match-three puzzle element, too, but it's okay: the orphans don't have to match.

Full Winehouse Poker
Poker title taking its cue from Win at Texas Hold 'Em with Daniel Negreanu, with its advice from the star during your games. Except in Full Winehouse Poker, the advice comes from husband Blake Fielder-Civil, and takes the form of 'Stop playing poker, let's take a bootload of class-As and then have a huge argument', after which the game becomes a beat-'em-up.

The Fast And The Furious: Celebrity Fugitives
Another racer, this time based on the car chases of the rich and famous. Steer clear of the OJ Simpson level, though: it's a bit sluggish.

S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Chanelle Edition
Re-skinned version of the upcoming mobile first-person shooter, with a plot based around you being a Posh Spice-lookalike who has to get close to your idol, despite them having instructed hundreds of bodyguards to stop you at all costs. The addition of an AI-controlled companion, Ziggy, would be more impressive if he wasn't an idiot.

Cloon Sweep
Cheap rip-off of Minesweeper, except with George Clooney's face instead of bombs. Never mind the quality, feel the huge appeal to a female demographic. And once ad-funded gaming takes off, there'll be a lucrative Martini tie-in, too.

Got any more ideas? Post a comment and pitch us your celeb-themed game concepts!