Beach Volleyball Smashdown

For some, a whole day spent lounging on the sand staring up at the blue yonder is the epitome of bliss. For others, a mere 20 minutes is all it takes before they're reaching for their mobile phone, PSP or DS.

What did we do back before we could fill every spare minute with electronic gaming? We had to make our own fun, that's what. With nothing more than a line in the sand and an inflatable plastic ball, beach volleyball was born.

Okay, as an Olympic sport beach volleyball's history is clearly a lot more resplendent than that. But for most of us the game is about being a bit silly, having a laugh in the sun with our friends, and watching members of the opposite sex leaping around without adequate supportive garments on.

A steady stream of electronic editions of the sport have appeared since the early years of gaming, but the majority were nothing to send a seaside postcard home about; even the more accomplished examples compared poorly when up against decent virtual interpretations of, say, tennis.

And alas the same is true of Beach Volleyball Smashdown. Boasting ten playable characters, special moves and multiple tournaments for you to play, on paper the game may sound like a strong candidate for the niche title of 'definitive beach volleyball game for the mobile platform'.

But burying that idea head first into the sand is the realisation the game is infuriatingly clunky to control, with a fractional but noticeable delay in response to key presses and a camera that makes returning the ball more about luck and guesswork than skill.

So things are off to a bad start before you've even scored your first point.

From here on in, the outlook doesn't get much prettier. When you do eventually get the hang of positioning your character in just the right place to make contact with the ball, you may find you manage to pull off one of the games special moves – whether you actually intended to or not. The dull yet functional standard graphics temporarily make way for an impressive animation, only to be followed by the CPU opponent returning the ball as easily as if you'd gently tapped it over the net, thereby rendering the essence of the special move redundant.

As mentioned in the Pocket Gamer preview of Beach Volleyball Smashdown, the developer was always going to have a hard time competing with the benchmark that is Playman Beach Volley 3D and unfortunately it's come up with something that falls so short it doesn't even hit the net. If it's sand between your toes and inflatable-based electronic fun you're after, you'll find it in spades (pun intended) in the Playman title.