Jurassic World Alive just came out. It's a game about wandering around the real world (post-Jurassic I assume), and finding prehistoric animals.
It's essentially Pokemon GO, but rather than collecting fictional animals you'll never get to see, you're collecting real dead animals you'll never get to see.
There's also a Harry Potter game coming out that aims to do something similar, probably with some of the beasts from Fantastic Beasts. Which got me thinking. In fact, it got me simmering. And then it got me boiling. Finally it set my whole body aflame. Which, luckily, is the sort of thing I like.
I have turned the flames engulfing my flesh into this week's hot take, you see. And the hot take is this - what other franchises deserve their own Pokemon GO-style game?
Okay, I mean there'd only really be one monster to catch, and depending on your reading of the film it'd be a fat, mumbling Marlon Brando, or the darkness that lies at the heart of every human being.
Both of those things would probably be quite difficult to create using even the newest AR technologies, but since Marlon Brando is dead and there's an inherent darkness that lies at the heart of every human being, I'd probably go for the latter.Star Wars: The Last Jedi
The Star Wars universe is rich with strange and interesting characters and creatures, so in the GO-version, all you'd be collecting would be Porgs. There would literally Porgs everywhere. Every time you loaded up the game, the screen would just be thick with Porgs.
I don't say this because I think it would make for a good game, I say it because it would annoy a lot of people. And quite frankly that's the sort of thing that gets me out of bed in the morning. Well, the afternoon.
Your favourite sport
This game would see you collecting all of your favourite sport people. And I do mean literally collecting. In order to perform at the highest level, sports-doers would have to agree to be given a subdermal geo-location implant.
Then you could hunt them down, following their every move and setting the perfect trap in order to catch them unawares. I think it'd really bring people together, as factions formed to ensnare the best kick-ists and thrower-ers.
I bet you'd love it if you could hunt down all the women in Battlefield V, capture them, and rip them out of the digital world that their position in has, for some reason, infuriated you beyond any concept of reason.
Maybe you could replace them with infinite bullets, or extra respawns, or some other stuff that's soooooo believable and realistic. Hell, get yourself a super tank that's essentially a massive phallic symbol and could shoot Hitler's face off from space, you horrible, horrible idiots.My keys
What I really need right now is an AR game that everyone is playing, the end goal of which is finding my keys. I have lost my keys, you see, and I need them because otherwise I'm trapped in my house.
The winner will get the calming knowledge that they have saved me from having to eat the wallpaper in my flat. I don't think I even have wallpaper in my flat. I'd just have to eat bricks. Thanks for stopping me from eating bricks. Potentially.