The iPhone 5 tariffs compared

Who knew? Apple has only gone and launched its new iPhone 5 on the very day Tim Cook promised it would. Splendid.

From the moment the aforementioned smartphone was unveiled by The Big A, the people responsible for counting the pennies at the five major UK carriers have been crunching numbers like nobody's business. Well, except Apple's. Presumably.

So, to try and appease all of the folks waiting patiently in the queues in front of their UK branches, The Big Five have created a range of iPhone tariffs for customers.

Because we are kind, generous, and devilishly handsome, we have spent hours scouring the interweb to put together the following comprehensive guide to the UK iPhone 5 tariffs. Thank us in the morning.

As a sidenote, Apple itself is offering the six iPhone 5 models (16GB, 32GB, and 64GB) unlocked for £529, 599, and £699, respectively. They're available in black or white. Hence, the "six".

O2 has the simplest range of contracts, with identical minutes, texts, and data allowance across the whole price range. All that matters is the balance between upfront and monthly payments.

Orange's £20 monthly contract is the cheapest available, but its allowances are suitably minimal. The Works plans, running from £36 - £51 a month, are useful for those who want to tailor the contract to internet usage without having to worry about texts and calls.

Three has two generous iPhone 5 tariff plans (Ultimate Internet 500 and The One Plan) up its sleeve. It is, however, the only network that's charging different monthly costs depending on the model of iPhone 5 purchased, with rising one-off payments still included for each.

T-Mobile offers a wide range of different contracts for the iPhone 5, including the only 18-month deals available in the country.

You should be able to find a tariff suited to your needs with T-Mobile, but the Full Monty plans, featuring unlimited texts, data, and plenty of minutes, provide the best value for money.

Vodafone is the only UK telco offering the iPhone 5 on a 12-month contract, though it does come with a suitably steep one-off handset cost. All Vodafone contracts include unlimited texts.