Vivid Gems
| Vivid Gems

As any modern man is painfully aware, pleasing the opposite sex isn't always easy. Women can be demanding, fussy and materialistic, forcing long-suffering males to jump through a series of tricky hoops in order to fully satisfy their demands.

Or at least that's what we're told.

If that's the case, Vivid Gems should come as a massive relief, then. Instead of having to purchase diamond rings, new shoes or pay regular visits to the in-laws, all the women featured in this game require is for you to match a vertical or horizontal row of three coloured gems together.

Do well enough and these surprisingly unfussy females will happily shed their clothing for you – something that usually only happens in the real world when you've blown your entire month's pay check on designer goods and a large bottle of expensive champagne.

Again, so say our sources.

Playing very much like the puzzle classic Bejeweled, Vivid Gems is perfect fodder for whenever you find yourself with a few minutes to spare. The mechanics are a little different from the aforementioned jewel-based brainteaser, though; rather than selecting a single block and swapping it with another in close proximity, you choose an entire row or column and move all the blocks contained within.

Hardcore fans of Bejeweled will find it hard to adjust to this change initially, and it can sometimes make locating potential links difficult, but the developer should be applauded for at least trying to attempt something new with the concept.

Three modes are available from the outset: Normal is the standard game, where running out of possible combinations results in the Game Over screen; Endless is more forgiving and goes on forever (as the title suggests); while Timed sets your frenzied quest for gem correlation against the clock.

Presentation is generally good throughout. The visuals are bold and colourful, although the actual play area is a little on the small side due to a massive nude lady taking up a fair percentage of the display. This therefore calls for a bit of squinting on the player's part.

The audio, meanwhile, is adequate, if uninspiring. The music which accompanies gameplay isn't terrible but it might cause you to slowly go insane if you are foolish enough to listen to it too much.

Sadly, as good as the core concept behind Vivid Gems undoubtedly is, it's lumbered with the previously mentioned 'nude lady' concept, where adequate performance within the game rewards you with a naughty picture. This might prove to be sufficient incentive to play at the start, but once you've laid eyes on the pathetically small selection of images contained within, the 'sexy' theme becomes a definite hindrance rather than a bonus.

Usually, this kind of approach is taken when developers have got a dog of a game on their hands and they need some hook to help it sell to the masses. The irony here is that Vivid Gems is good enough to be sold without such undesirable trappings.

If you've played and enjoyed Bejeweled (or one of its countless clones), then it's likely you will extract a fair amount of enjoyment out of this, although it's worth noting that the play mechanics are a little less flexible and intuitive. The erotic theme is sadly unavoidable as adult content is smeared over almost every screen, but provided you can look past the boobs and bottoms, Vivid Gems delivers solid mobile entertainment.

Vivid Gems

An unfortunate case of tasteless smut being used when it's not required. The core game is perfect mobile entertainment so it's a shame it's been coated with a gloss of depravity
Damien  McFerran
Damien McFerran
Damien's mum hoped he would grow out of playing silly video games and gain respectable employment. Perhaps become a teacher or a scientist, that kind of thing. Needless to say she now weeps openly whenever anyone asks how her son's getting on these days.