It’s a good job the world didn’t end on the May 21st, as it would have meant that the final game I ever played was Spoing.
Spoing isn’t a bad game, and won’t offend anyone who stumbles across it on the App Store. But in answer to the question, ‘what thing would you want to be doing when Rapture comes’, playing a bland iOS casual platformer is not high on my list.I feel fine
The titular Spoing - a black splodge with a face - has lost all the rainbow gems and needs to get them back via the tried-and-tested method of slingshotting from bits of rope (a la Parachute Ninja).
Unlike the star of that earlier title, Spoing also has the ability to add platforms himself - performed by tapping two points on the screen once you’ve picked up the same number of green gems.
These act as temporary springboards from which you can launch Spoing to areas that are normally inaccessible, or past obstacles such as lizards and spiders, without having to carefully shoot for the gaps.Black and blue
Each level has a three stars (in this case, dots) to aim for based on how quickly you complete the stage, along with an extra special ‘tick’ for when you complete a level without dying.
Perversely, the game hides the guidelines that help you aim your shots until you die, meaning most people will fall into the ridiculous routine of killing themselves when a level begins in order to have a chance at hitting the tight three-star time limit.
This is because Spoing’s flightpath, unlike Parachute Ninja's, is hard to predict without any form of guidance.
Even when you can judge where he’s going to land, Spoing has a tendency to latch onto just-missed platforms (good) and miss ones that are plainly within reach (bad).Bouncer
The flow of the game is very stop-start, with Spoing more intent on bouncing around on a new platform than lining himself up in the centre so you can slingshot him quickly.
This springy nature shows off the smooth animations and gives the game a polished feel, even if the art design as a whole lacks character.Spoing's faults aren't the proverbial end of the world, and some will no doubt become enraptured by its smoothness and sheen, but in the final judgement it never really ascends above the crowd of similar titles.