Challenge Me DS competition winning idiots announced

A few weeks ago, we ran a competition to win a DS and copies of Challenge Me: Maths Workout and Brain Challenge.

In order to win, entrants had to describe in no more than 150 words the most idiotic thing they’d ever done. The most patently idiotic would be in line for the prize, because that would be the person who needed it most.

It’s been an instructive few weeks. The many dozens of anecdotes I received have given me a real insight into the demographics of idiocy. I learned, for example, that 73 per cent of idiots are female, and that a surprising number of idiotic acts involve tampons.

Everybody who entered is idiotic to some degree, but there can only be three winners. Nevertheless, it would be remiss not to mention that there are people out there who do things like:

• Swing from a bemused tree surgeon.
• Mix poo with brown plasticine.
• Use a hand instead of toilet roll and then shake hands with a prospective employer.
• Put chocolate sauce instead of gravy on a meat-based meal and then eat it out of pride.

Be warned.

The winner of the competition probably isn’t the stupidest person to have entered - although, make no mistake, she is very stupid - but her particular act makes giving her a free DS all but unavoidable.

“I managed to run over my DS with the car,” says Lydia Bickerton with a vacant air. “Rucksack full of gadgets and thats the only one that went crunch. Very painful and totally true, been trying to win one ever since!”

Congratulations - you did it.

The first runners prize up goes to another car-related act of idiocy - an act aptly immortalised in the film Dumb & Dumber.

“One icy morning I went out to my car to find the lock had frozen,” Shaun Tracy tells us. “What could I do, I thought - and that's when the flash of inspiration came. I thought I'd blow on the lock (my warm breath would be enough
to melt the ice.)”

Quite so, Shaun. So what happened next? “My lips made contact with the metal of the car door - and yes, you've guessed it - stuck there.

“In a total panic my eyes darted from side to side just in case any of the neighbours had saw my mishap (thankfully not), it was a good couple of minutes before my lips were released from the side of the car door.”

What a dunce. Well done.

Joining him on the runner up podium is an interesting case. We all know what it’s like when a female parent buys the wrong piece of hardware or software in the apparent belief that technology is a single homogenous substance that you can simply give a lump of to your child. But rarely do we see it from the other side.

Jill Jones tells us, “Was lucky enough to win a voucher to get £10 off if I placed an order in excess £100 with Play.com. Yippee, love a bargain so ordered Guitar Hero: World Tour package for my darling son for Christmas.

“So far so good. However, missed the delivery so had to pay £3 to park in the town centre to get the package from post office only to be told by hubby when I got home that I had ordered wrong format!! Ordered XBox, needed Wii.

“I contacted the supplier who allowed me to send back the item but I had to pay return postage of £8. Couldn’t reuse voucher so had to pay full price for replacement. Loser.”

You’re not a loser any more, Jill Jones. You’re a winner. Of a Oxygen’s Challenge Me.