Prime Day Sucks: 8 better things to buy
Ethical consumption under capitalism? No, but we try
It is Prime Day, Amazon's most infamous day of the year, where they greatly enhance the suffering of their warehouse employees, whilst convincing consumers that they definitely, absolutely, need to buy all of the stock that doesn't get sold on any normal day.
Ah yes, my old friend capitalism, we meet again. Personally, I'm all for having semi-useless products being sold to me at bargain prices, I really am, but Amazon doesn't treat their workers amazingly even on slow days, and on Prime Day? Yikes.
For real, level with me, no messing around: have you heard about Amazon forcing warehouse workers to pee in bottles? Forgive me for thinking that is some inhumane nonsense, but yeah, I don't think you should support them on a day like today.
So let's say capitalism has you by the gonads, and despite your well-meaning intentions, you are desperate to invest money in something, anything, in order to feel alive. No worries. I've got you covered.
I have scoured the internet for video game deals you can invest in without having to go near Amazon. Whether you want to play games on Nintendo Switch, Android, or iOS, we have games here that you can buy hella cheap and have hella fun, all without tacitly endorsing human rights abuses. It really is a win-win.
Oh and can someone make Bezos pay his damn taxes, I need a functioning NHS for the love of God.
Sorry, I think I went off track somewhere. What was I talking about? Capitalism? Human rights abuses? Tax dodging rich people?
Oh right, video games. Yeah, just purchase some video games and play them. Here are some ridiculous video game bargains you can bash out on a train or sit at home, all while feeling like you've stuck it to Bezos and his planet-engulfing monopoly. Oh, monopoly is a good start, actually.
Monopoly - Switch - £7.49
It's Monopoly. It's on Nintendo Switch. It's pretty cheap, and is arguably the least harmful way you can participate in and celebrate capitalism today.Get it HERE!
Motorsport Manager Mobile 2 - Google Play - FREE
Why Motorsport Manager Mobile 2, you ask? Because it's free. Straight up, free on Google Play. Yep, just like that. Just rock up, install, play. Boom. Forget Amazon, pal.Get it HERE!
Bridge Constructor Portal - iOS - $2.99
Actually, all of the Bridge Constructor games are on sale, and they're all pretty good! You can get the original for as little as a dollar. A single dollar. An obvious choice. The Portal game is pretty good, too.Get it HERE!
Worms - iOS - $0.99
Worms, all of the Worms games are on sale. As little as a dollar? Damn right. Easy choice.Get it HERE!
Escapists 2 - iOS - $4.99
It's a prison escape simulator. Unfortunately there is no warehouse escape simulator, but I'm sure that's the next step.Get it HERE!
Mario & Rabbids: Kingdom Battle - Switch - £11.09
Hey, this is 63% off, and it's seriously good. I'm looking at it for £11.09. That's crazy. If you like XCom, this is essential, no joke. Also, Rabbids would hate Jeff Bezos.Get it HERE!
SteamWorld Heist - Switch - £4.49
All of the SteamWorld games are scarily good. Grab this and SteamWorld Dig, and you'll be in for a good time. Interestingly, a world where only humans remain after a heat-death is relatable under capitalism.Get it HERE!
Katamari Damacy REROLL - Switch - £10.99
Consume. Destroy. Assimilate. That is the goal of the wee prince in Katamari Damacy, and being rolled into his destructive ball of death is a better fate than being an Amazon Warehouse Operative.Get it HERE!