Game Reviews

Burt Destruction

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First published: | Updated:

| Burt Destruction
Burt Destruction
| Burt Destruction

We're dealing with a hero who looks and behaves like a normal chap until something angers him, whereupon he triples in size, tears his clothes off, and starts smashing everything in sight. Stop me if this is sounding familiar.

Even if you can look past the Hulk comparisons, there's precious little that's original about this auto-running platformer beyond the surreal, somewhat puerile in-game cartoons.

Nevertheless, Burt Destruction can still be a blast to play for a while. Only the somewhat skewed difficulty, often unfair deaths, and irritating ads (in a paid app, for shame) make it hard to fully recommend.

Yeti bad sports

There's a backstory about evil villains led by a diminutive Yeti trying to take down Burt and his bizarre housemates. It's pretty superfluous, but it gives you a point of entry into the game's bizarre world.

Your goal is primarily to bounce Burt safely from one side of each stage to the other.

You only have to tap to jump, although holding down for longer gives an extra boost, and tapping a second time gives you that all important double-jump, which lets you reach higher parts of the stages or leap around the weird menagerie of villains (rocket-powered hovering sharks being a personal favourite).

After you bounce off enough baddies Burt’s rage meter fills up and he turns into his Hulk-alike alter ago - becoming temporarily invulnerable and able to dish out a beating to anything in his path.

You’ll pay, man

Ubisoft’s stellar Rayman Jungle Run is an obvious touchstone, but the experience is significantly less polished than Pastgames's effort, with enemy-crammed levels lacking the imaginative touches and flow of that game’s nuanced, endlessly replayable stages.

With only two-lives per stage, death is a constant companion, and many later levels prove to be a repetitive war of attrition.

There are also plenty of blind leaps and enemies hidden off-screen that make survival a combination of dumb luck, or tedious rote level learning.

To help out, at the start of each stage, you can pick either Bigfoot or the Dodo to support you. Both offer brief special attacks that are activated by tapping their buttons, with the former beating up everything in sight and the latter raining down bombs on enemies.

The cool-down period before you can use them, however, is pretty long - which is where the game’s upgrade system comes in.

Although it’s a paid app, you’re unlikely to collect enough coins in-game to buff up your hero enough to survive the downright cruel later stages.

A cheap pack of coins won’t break the bank, but paying to unlock levels as you advance into the infuriating later stages will. By this point, it’s likely that you’ll want to expend your destructive urges on something more rewarding.

Burt Destruction

A so-so platformer with a surreal sense of humour that takes a nasty tumble over its steep difficulty curve and bland level design
Paul Devlin
Paul Devlin
A newspaper reporter turned games journo, Paul's first ever console was an original white Game Boy (still in working order, albeit with a yellowing tinge and 30 second battery life). Now he writes about Android with a style positively dripping in Honeycomb, stuffed with Gingerbread and coated with Froyo