So, the first question any Tap Titans player will ask themselves when first loading the game is, "Am I missing something?" And that's never a good way to begin.
It's weird given that the game is so very, very simple. Confusion and simplicity aren't often problems you have to tackle as the same time.
But it's a fair question when it comes to this rather strange game, and we're not sure we've adequately answered it, even now.Screen assault
You're cast as a nice, manga-like character, armed with a sword and the skills to wield it against some significantly larger enemies. Even the basic ones tower above you, so Tap Titans initially looks like it's going to be packed with epic battles.
The controls are deliciously simple. Tap the screen, and you slash at the ogre-sized beast in front of you. The confusion kicks in when you're forced to ponder what happens next.
The answer is nothing. Nothing seems to happen next. You keep tapping the screen, and your ninja-esque dude keeps on hacking and slashing until the monster is dead.
These are mean looking adversaries, too, but none fight back. They just stand there, letting you gradually kill them.
You're up against a generous timer when tapping at the screen, depleting the energy bar that tells you how long it'll be before you're on to the next lethargic, inanimate creature, but that's about all the challenge Tap Titans seems to offer.Boss "battles"
We probably shouldn't really call it a boss battle, since none of the action in Tap Titans really qualifies a battle. It's a one-sided hack 'n' slash, where monsters throw themselves on your lethal blade, bosses included.
We almost feel bad doing it, like we're the merciless enemy on a rampage of unwarranted destruction, which ought to be the other way around.
Anyway, after slaughtering ten passive creatures, a significantly stronger one appears that takes a lot more tapping to destroy. It doesn't take anything else, and it lavishes a lot more coins upon you once you kill it, whereas its minions will only dispense one or two.
Believe it or not, you tap the coins to collect them and then spend them on weapon upgrades, new artifacts, and a few perks.
It's a shame there's nothing more to do, as this is actually a really good looking game, with great animation and beautiful cell-shaded characters.
Honestly, we're still not sure if we've missed something huge and fundamental, or if we downloaded a faulty version of the app. Surely it must do more than this?
Hey, developer! Did you actually finish making the game before releasing it? If not, that'd explain a lot.