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Let me set the scene for this news post with a noise...

"Oooooh, aaaaarrrrr."

Oh, no, wait! That's not a pirate sound; that's a farmer sound. Dammit.

To hide any further embarrassment, let me cut to the chase: Assassin's Creed Pirates is on sale for iOS and Android.

This Bronze Award-winning shanty-'em-up will now set you back just £1.99 / $2.99, which is almost certainly roughly what it might be worth(-ish).

Pie-rats

At review, we called it "a big silly game full of repetitive combat and simple missions". We then added that "Assassin's Creed Pirates somehow still manages to be fun".

So, if you want to splice a mainbrace or fire cannons in a mini-game that doesn't really make sense, pop on over to the App Store [buy] or the Google Play Store [buy] right now and go grab that game.

"Roooooaaaaaarrrrr."

Nope, that's a dinosaur.