In the Iron Man films, Tony Stark's not-so-secret alter ego is portrayed as a cross between a jet plane and a walking tank.
That's the whole point of the suit, you see. Here's a multi-purpose piece of high-tech weaponry that's guided by a genius billionaire.
In Gameloft's official spin-off game of the third Iron Man film, the developer decides that that's a silly idea, though.
Iron Man's skills should be distinct and, therefore, utilised in clearly marked separate sections. Now, it is time to shoot. Now, it is time to weave around. Now, it is time to spend money. Got it?
Does whatever an Iron can
If you hadn't already guessed from the screenshots above, Iron Man 3: The Official Game is an auto-flier.
As the titular hero, you drift from side to side by sliding your finger from side to side across the bottom of the screen. To fire your repulsor weapons, you either tap on the enemies you want to kill or draw a line between them to kill them in quick succession.
To begin with, you're fighting angry bottle tops who hover around for a bit - presumably waiting for you to eviscerate them - and then get bored and fire a glowing orange blob of plasma at your face. As you fly on, you'll fight other men in suits, dodge crashing planes, and wind your way through missile fire.
It all sounds jolly exciting, but it's not. Moving and shooting at the same time is pretty much out of the question on account of the fiddly controls. To compensate for this, Gameloft has split blasting and dodging up. This leads to moments of both boredom and anguished frustration.
There's quite a lot of judder in the game, too, especially when there's a lot happening on-screen. Then, there are the repair times, which have basically been ripped wholesale from Real Racing 3. Of course, being a billionaire, you can use in-game currency to shorten these wait times.
Isn't it iron-ic? No
In Iron Man 3, Gameloft fails to capture the awesome spectacle at the heart of all of Robert Downey Jr's Shellhead movie outings.
There are explosions and fights and wisecracks, sure, but everything feels forced. You're pulled along, told what to do, and notified of when to do it.
There are moments of enjoyment in this tie-in game, but more often than not Iron Man 3 feels too generic. And for a game that's supposed to make you feel like a superhero, that's just not good enough.
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