Stephen King, goldfish, puppies and next week's releases

It's a dangerous world, the one we live in. How else can you explain the fact that gun licences are handed to ten-month old American babies, or that the worst thing affecting Yorkshire this summer would be an invasion of poisonous caterpillars, to name the two most obvious examples this week?

But fearsome as the above two cases in point may be, they're not entirely convincing. Because if it's genuinely precarious instances you seek – the type of stuff that would get Stephen King to quickly pen another tome (which would subsequently be followed by a disastrously disappointing Hollywood adaptation) – look no further than the handheld release schedule.

Sure, you'll think we're exaggerating, but look at the number of casualties we've suffered this week: Legend of the Dragon, SBK 07: Superbike World Championship, Dragon Ball Z: Shin Budokai 2, and SOCOM: US Navy SEALs Fireteam Bravo 2.

Of the expected turnout, just three have survived unscathed, while the aforementioned four – all PSP titles, you'll note – have been given new June dates.

Still, next week's looking good, isn't it? That's us in a nutshell, really. The memory of a goldfish combined with the excitement of a Labrador puppy – it doesn't matter how many times handheld releases slip, we'll simply forget and just look forward to the next batch of promised arrivals.

That may sound like the kind of demented denial of psychopaths but we assure you we're harmless. Mostly.

Out May 18th
Innocent Life: A Futuristic Harvest Moon (PSP) (Or read our review.)
MinDStorm (DS)
Pony Friends (DS)

Out May 25th
Crush (PSP)
Custom Robo Arena (DS) (Or read our review.)
Final Fantasy Fables: Chocobo Tales (DS) (Or read our review).
Heatseeker (PSP)
Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops (PSP) (Or read our review.)
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (DS)
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (PSP)
Spongebob & Friends: Battle For Volcano Island (DS)
Valhalla Knights (PSP)
Winx Club: Join the Club (PSP)