IF THE SIGHT OF CAPITAL LETTERS is sufficient to make you think of Death, then you either have an extreme variation of verbophobia or you're one of the many millions of fans of Terry Pratchett's Discworld. Assuming it's the latter, then you'll be more intrigued than a man examining the contents of one of CMOT Dibbler's pies to discover that the first Discworld mobile game is here.
Loosely based upon the first adventure, Discworld: The Colour of Magic casts you as the Unseen University's least talented graduate, Rincewind and demands (that is to say, The Patrician politely requests) that you guide the Discworld's first ever tourist, Twoflower, through the perilous streets of Ankh Morpork.
Like many tourists, Twoflower is loaded down with spending money and is completely oblivious to the language and customs. Whilst this is a reckless approach to life in most situations, in this most 'pragmatic of cities' it promises to be a very short-lived one too, with eager street traders, thugs, thieves and swamp dragons waiting around every corner to relieve him of his cash, naivety and quite possible the ability to breath too.
Which is where Rincewind comes in. The wizard must nudge Twoflower away from danger (he'll keep walking in a straight line unless otherwise prompted), whilst simultaneously using coins and a mesmerising picture box to temporarily distract the citizens. And should that fail, there's the rather more nuclear deterrent that is the multi-legged luggage.
There are 16 levels to explore in Discworld: The Colour of Magic featuring many of Ankh Morpork's most notable locations, including the Patrician's Palace, Unseen University, Temple of Small Gods and The Broken Drum, and you can be sure that in each case Lord Vetinari will set very reasonable goals. But just in case the missions don't offer enough to keep you busy, there's always the imminent arrival of HIS CLOAKED FRIEND to contend with.
The exclusive early glimpses we've had of some preview code certainly look promising. If the quirky gameplay turns out to be half as imaginative and entertaining as one of Mr Pratchett's volumes, then we could be in for something very special indeed – yes, even more exciting than a game of Cripple Mr Onion.
Suffice to say we're dying to get our hands on the finished version, which subject to the whims of Offler and Blind Io, will be due out very soon. If you want to be first to the review, click TRACK IT above as if your life depended on it.