The Buzz: Half-Life fan fiction special (part 1)
This week, The Bee imagines Gordon Freeman's student days
Half-Life – The College Years
Chapter 1Contrary to the expectations of the two graduands, devising the plan and breaking in to the post office turned out to be the easy part.
"Are you sure this is safe?"
"Yes."
"It really doesn't seem- "
"Todd, it's safe. You'll be fine, I promise, or may god strike me dumb. And anyway, there's no other plan."
"Do you think Barney would have done this?"
Gordon touched him on the shoulder. "You're hot darn tooting he would."
After a little more hesitation, Todd nodded and climbed into the postbag.
"There," Gordon said, closing the top and locking the buckle. "And remember, if you feel yourself falling, go limp."
"Like a ragdoll?" the postbag said.
"Exactly," Gordon said, tenderly, "like a ragdoll. And if the postman finds you, you're a vegetable."
"I'll act like my slow cousin Andelko."
"That's the spirit." Gordon gave the sack a soldierly pat and then rolled it to the top of the sloping conveyor belt, where it tumbled into the darkness. "Good luck, Todd," he said quietly. "And get that letter, or so help me god I will smash you."
It all began earlier that evening. It was the last day of term, and having submitted his PhD thesis to be evaluated Gordon was unwinding with two of his close friends.
"Barney, push the trolley," Gordon said.
"I'm not Barney," Todd said. "I'm Todd." He took a can of beer from a plastic bag and opened it. The beer sprayed.
"Dammit, Barney, that went down my back. I'm going to smash you!" He tried to struggle out of the trolley, but it was too hard. After a moment of rattling, he slumped back down with his legs folded over the side, and belched. "Lucky escape."
"I'm Todd."
"What?" the real Barney said, zipping up his trousers as he walked back from the steaming alley.
"Shit, Barney," Gordon said, to Todd. "I hate you so much I'm seeing double."
"Gordon wants us to push him," said Todd.
"Then what are we waiting for?"
After a moment, the trolley started to move.
"Don't be dicks," said Gordon, as they gained momentum. "Slow down. Don't make me smash you."
All he could hear was giggling and clattering. The trolley rattled over the road, into the car park, towards the steps down to the School of Marine Biology, next door to where the Dean lived.
"Stop!" Gordon screamed. The laughing grew more diabolical. "I get it, you're twins! It was an affectionate joke! Shhhiiii- "
With a sinking silence and a heavy crash they cleared the steps, Todd and Barney stumbling after the runaway trolley.
"-t!"
They tried to catch up but it was too late. Like a wild bear the trolley spun across the last stretch of pavement and smashed through the glass doors of the Marine Biology Department and into the fish tank that was built into the wall by the entrance. The burglar alarm started to wail and red emergency lights spun. The glass of the fish tank held for a moment, then split and shattered, sending a cascade of water over the tiled floor, soaking Gordon and the feet of the twins, who were standing next to the upended trolley, looking on in disbelief at the unfolding carnage.
The water flooded down the corridor and lashed against plug sockets, blowing them up. Bright blue electricity sparked and crackled across the surface of the stream, electrocuting the fish that were flapping on the wet ground. For some reason, the display cases on both sides of the corridor toppled and the fire sprinklers sprung to life, causing explosions. All around the building, overfull tanks could be heard bursting and flooding the ground.
It was chaos.
Chapter 4Still dizzy, Gordon felt a tap on his shoulder. Barney was shouting something through the noise, but Gordon couldn't hear. He picked the clump of seaweed from his ear and Barney's voice was just audible. "Dude, that was frigging awesome!"
"I'm not sure your brother agrees," Gordon yelled over the noise, gesturing towards Todd. He who was sobbing and hugging himself like a young girl.
Barney looked with dismay. "I can't believe we're monozygotic," he shouted.
"I know, he's such- " Gordon paused. Over Barney's shoulder he could see bright yellow reflective uniforms. "Cheese it!" he shouted. "The filth!"
"Hall wardens, already?" Barney screamed, spinning around. It was a rhetorical question, but in any case Gordon was already gone, splashing down the corridor.
The water was electrified and Gordon felt electric shocks on his ankles. Many more and he would run out of health, so he climbed onto a fallen cabinet. From this, he was able to jump onto another cabinet, and then another, and another, until he finally reached an unjumpable gap.
He thought of his options for a moment, stroking his beard, and then a light-bulb appeared inside his head. "Of course!" he said. "So simple." He flipped a nearby light switch, and all of the electricity disappeared. The ground was safe, although he still felt instinctively that almost half of his health had gone.
Chapter 6He had escaped from the hall wardens for now, but he had to find a way out of the building. If the hall wardens caught him, he would be expelled, which would be disastrous for him. Although he had somehow managed to conceal it, he was not very intelligent.
He had got in to California College of Physics on a football scholarship, and still hoped to play professionally one day. It was that or bust. Through a combination of charm and intimidation he had always managed to coerce more able students into helping him academically, but he knew that if he were to get a real science job, with real responsibilities, the consequences would be disastrous for everybody concerned.
Just then, something caught his eye. Through the viewing portal into one of the teaching rooms he saw a thin man with glasses and a tie. The man peered in, and then strolled calmly away, apparently oblivious to the surrounding disaster.
Half Life – The College Years concludes next week.The Bee is an industry insider who has fed on the nectar of over three decades' worth of gaming. All opinions expressed are the author's own.