On the fourth day of Christmas, Pocket Gamer gave to me...
Four birds a-calling (if you know what we mean)
We exited the third day of Christmas resisting the temptation to venture into filth. But with encouragement from our graphical iconography, it seems that the fourth day of Christmas has to tackle the seedy phenomenon of adult games.
To be honest, we'd prefer to point your attention to our excellent Top 10 mobile games that demand a sexy revamp (we particularly like the description of Super Sexy Pac-Man, even if we say so ourselves: Replace the white dots with blue Viagra pills, and the theme tune with Benny Hill music, and you're sorted).
Sadly, though, we know the market demands more straightforward fare.
So how about Sexy Pam? Sounds like the girl means business, eh? Not according to our experienced reviewer. "Dull and barely titillating, this puzzle game is full of design boobies."
Of course, this is the problem with such experiences. Treat them as sexual stimulation and any old toss will do – at a pinch, even the underwear section of the Grattan catalogue. As games, however, sex just gets in the way. Or as our honourable reviewer calls it: "In game design terms, Sexy Pam is a total car crash. It's an ill-considered block puzzle game that someone's tried to make less boring by bunging in a few pictures of topless ladies as backdrops."
Is there a solution?
Maybe. Maybe not. One of our highest scoring sexy game is Sexy Pool, which scored well for presentation and pool simulation but less impressively when it came to the "groan-inducing cheesy flirt lines".
To reduce the embarrassment these sort of games can induce, you might be better off trying out Sexy Pillowfight, the mobile game that brings Street Fighter to the cartoon 38DD community. Or as we prefer to call it, "a fun place to rest your head". Bless.
Happy fourth day of Christmas.
