If Human Tetris was a mobile game...
...what a wonderful world this would be
Everybody's heard of Tetris, but the corporeal counterpart to Alex Pajinitov's masterpiece is less well-known.
Human Tetris - or Brain Wall, as it's also called – is a game devised by the Japanese in which the participant stands beside a swimming pool while a giant Styrofoam wall approaches. There's a contortion-shaped hole in the wall, and the contestant has to bend himself in order to slot through it and avoid being swept into the icy water.
There's also a version with bikinis, if you're interested.
The mobile has been crying out for a genuinely fresh twist on Tetris, and this is it. While a port of the shape-spinning original would of course be included, the main game would involve trying to arrange humans into appropriate configurations using keys '1' to '9', in much the same way that you have to make shapes with the keypad in the mobile version of Star Wars: The Force Unleashed.
Say you're standing by the pool and the wall has a T-shaped hole in it. Easy: just press '1' and then '3' to raise your arms. The wall glides past. Success! Streamers spiral down the screen. Next it's an L-shaped hole: just press '8' to sit down, then '9' to extend a leg along the ground. Fireworks go off.
It's not always that easy, though. Every time you successfully make it through a hole, the wall speeds up and the shapes grow more complex. You start off threading a 'T' through a slow-moving wall, but soon you're fumbling to bend your avatar into the shape of a '4' in under a second.
You can't just make the shape, though. You're dealing with a real person, and if you bend a leg or an arm the wrong way – pop - you dislocate one of his joints, whereupon the phone vibrates and he passes out with the pain. The wall sweeps him into the pool and he drowns.
Pain-induced catatonia isn't the only danger. The water is filled with box jellyfish, the most venomous animals on earth. If you can't bend your avatar into the correct shape in time - splash! - in he goes. Once submerged, there's little point trying to evade the sting of the creature – also known as a 'sea wasp' - as it's one of the few species of jellyfish known to actively pursue its prey.
Once your avatar has been stung, a deadly cocktail of cardiotoxins, neurotoxins, and dermatonecrotic agents begin to do their work. In seconds, he's paralysed. Onlookers are unaware of the pain marauding through his body as his internal organs burn and wither. After less than a minute he's bobbing on the surface, dead, and his relatives are being restrained by studio security. Game over.
Bluetooth multiplayer also available.