Features

April Fool's Day is stupid, here are some April Cats instead

Because cats are ace

April Fool's Day is stupid, here are some April Cats instead
|

April Fool's Day jokes are, quite frankly, played out. You all know they're jokes, and the only way to make them even vaguely relevant is to make them believable enough that when it's revealed they're not true people are going to be upset. That just sounds cruel to me, and therefore this year Pocket Gamer isn't getting involved. Instead, we're starting our own tradition - April Cats.

Cats are the opposite of cruel jokes - they're little bundles of lovely fuzzy fun. Sometime when you're sad they come and sit on you. And sometimes when you're asleep they come and sit on your head to make sure you're still alive (not out of goodness, they'd quite like to eat you if you're dead).

If you've got your own April Cats to share, then please do so in the comments section at the bottom of the article. And let's remember for the rest of the year that, rather than being mean or snide or trying to one up people, we should just share pictures of cats instead.

Millie

April Cats screenshot - Millie aka Mop Mop

This is Millie. Millie is 11, pushing 12, but she still thinks she's a kitten. She grunts every time she jumps anywhere, but she's pretty chill. She is also an annoying little git who shouts at me a lot but if anyone else said that about her we'd have trouble.

Hazel

April Cats screenshot - Hazel aka Famous Paws

Hazel is a female Maine Coon. She is perfectly aware of how wonderful she is, but feel free to tell her. Because she is a pure breed she has a glossy coat, demanding tastes, and isn't the smartest cat cookie in the cat box. Hazel always knows she's being bad, she just knows she'll get away with it.

KP

April Cats screenshot - KP aka Fuzz Knuckles aka Pantaloons

KP goes by many names. Some call her KP, some call her Kitty Puss, one person in particular thought up a new name for her every time he saw her. She lives with my parents, but whenever she does anything wrong, which is often, she's referred to as "your cat".

Maisie

April Cats screenshot - Maisie aka Box Troll

Maisie is stout and curious, much like her recently arrived little sister. While said sister will grow out of her stoutness, hopefully Maisie's influence will ensure she keeps her curiosity. Maisie likes sitting in boxes and she's totes adorbs.

Albert

April Cats screenshot - Albert aka That Looks Like Albert

Many things look like Albert, but I wonder if he still poos in the bath?

Kish

April Cats screenshot - Kish aka Fatty

To all intents and purposes, Kish was Hodor in cat form.

Honey

April Cats screenshot - Honey aka Magical Forever Space Kitten

Honey was a magical noise monster who loved fishes more than you, and she made the life of anyone who met her a little bit stranger in the best possible way.

Harry Slater
Harry Slater
Harry used to be really good at Snake on the Nokia 5110. Apparently though, digital snake wrangling isn't a proper job, so now he writes words about games instead.