Are your chestnuts roasting on an open fire?
Innuendo? Me? It was just an idle question!
Look, do you want a free code or not? Well calm down then. As it's Christmas, Pocket Gamer is giving away free codes for the best premium mobile games which launched this year courtesy of its official Advent Calendar.
You can read all about it in the original post. But if you're just sick of these introductions now and just want us to get on with it, read on for why you're a silly billy for not playing Punch Club yet.
Is it like Fight Club but you can only punch people?
No. Have you ever watched a martial arts, wrestling, or boxing movie from the '70s or '80s? Do you remember just how ridiculous they were? Well, Punch Club has gamified all of that.
And the result is just bloody brilliant. With its tongue firmly in its cheek, Punch Club tells the story of a young amateur boxer's rise to fame - complete with an epic and suitably ridiculous plot.
It's a sort of simulator too, with you having to ensure he eats a healthy diet, gets plenty of sleep, and the right training balance to beat everyone he comes up against.
There's just so much to Punch Club, and most of it is great. That's why we gave it a Gold Award at review, and described it as: "A rich and rewarding fight sim that gives you plenty to do, and makes sure you have fun while you're doing it".
What's the first rule of Punch Club?
Watch it you. If you want a chance to play it for free, stop annoying me and go and sign up for the App Army here. Then write your name as it appears on Facebook in the comments beneath this post.
We'll then select the lucky winners and distribute the codes within one working day, and announce them on the App Army page.
We've only got Android codes for this one, so iOS users need not apply. You've had plenty of codes already, you greedy bunch!The App Army is Pocket Gamer's very own community of mobile game experts. Each week, we provide them with a bunch of free codes and early access to the hottest upcoming games so they can provide their thoughts in features like this. We also host regular community-driven events with them in mind like tournaments, giveaways, and multiplayer evenings. To join, simply follow this link to the page on Facebook and request access. We'll get you in right away!