There's something about arcade football titles that really gets me going. Some deep down, residual desire to actually be good at hoofing a ball around a large field with a bunch of other sweaty people sparks into life and I'm a kid again.
And the simplicity of arcade games lets me live that fantasy. I'm the sort of person who plays FIFA against the computer on easy mode so I can score bucketfulls of goals and not worry too much when the core of my defence gets sent off for trying to break the opposing striker's legs.
Pixel Cup Soccer 16 scratches that itch almost perfectly. It doesn't worry too much about the rules of the game, it's impossible to hurt anyone with reckless challenges, and when you're winding up a shot it makes a 'weeeeeeeeeeeee' noise, just like in real life.
Ball ball ball, footy footy footy
There are a number of different modes you can tackle (HA PUN), but they all play out in reasonably similar ways. You kick a ball around a field and try to score more goals than the other team.
You get a variety of leagues and cups to kick your way through, friendly matches if you just fancy a quick kick about, penalty tournaments, and a practice mode where you can try and hone your skills.
A floating joystick controls whichever player is highlighted on your team, and two buttons control your actions. When you're attacking one passes and one shoots. When you're defending one tackles and one switches players.
And that's pretty much it. You can control the length and speed of matches, and change what the weather conditions are like, as well as changing the skill level of the 11 players on the other team.
Ball ball ball, FOOTBALL!
The one thing that's missing from the equation is multiplayer. There are offline modes on the iPad, but no online modes, which would make the whole package even more entertaining.
Still, this is a slick, gorgeous, easy to play arcade kick about that's got an awful lot to offer. Booting the ball around just feels right, and pretty much every goal you score is a ridiculous screamer.
It doesn't have the simulation style or the correctly named players of the big boys, but that's not the point. This is a mucky kick about in the park with your friends.
You're providing the commentary, you're making the crowd noise, and you're having more fun than in any regimented game you're ever played.