At the risk of destroying any remaining reputation for playfulness or eroticism, I've never understood the apparent obsession the rest of the world has concerning pillowfights and girls pulling each others' hair.

Frankly, anyone over the age of 12, and who isn't in Hugh Hefner's rumble room, should have better ways of wasting time.

And, to be honest, even if you're the world's biggest fan of young ladies pillow fighting you should keep well away from I-play's release. The iPhone version of its 2007 mobile game - called Sexy Pillowfight - is a real mess.

Fluffy not fun

It's a surprise because with this source material, it should be relatively easy to make a trashy but fun game. Instead, the girls look like they've been shaped out of plasticine while the animation is so slow that treating the game as a beat-'em-up is impossible.

Luckily, in order to win all you really have to do is wait until the computer controlled opponent walks slowly towards you, block with the B button until she's hit you a couple of times with her pillow, and then keep hitting back until she falls over. Then repeat. I found holding down left on the virtual D-Pad and then continually tapping the A attack button worked fairly well.

You shouldn't try to get too clever and attempt to use any of the other combinations of D-pad direction and attack, even if the up-and-attack move does provide a solid and satisfying slap around the chops.

For, despite the assumption that this is a game for a casual audience, Pillowfight Girls has a tough difficulty curve, with the poor animation combined with cheating artificial intelligence meaning you can get wiped out even in the early stages of the Arcade mode if you try to mix up your moves and timings.

Shake and escape

It's particularly the case with each character's special move: something that's triggered as you pull off a couple of successful combos.

The S button becomes highlighted, which if you're close enough enables you to grab your opponent, throw her to the floor, and then mount her in a flurry of feathery anger.

You'll experience this often enough from your opponents - and have to shake your iPhone to recover (if you can be bothered) - but trying to get close enough to pull off the move yourself is almost impossible.

For these reasons you'll have to be very committed if you want to unlock the three additional characters, not to mention their sexy costumes, by beating the Arcade mode with all six characters. (There's also a Quick Play mode available.)

Instead, like a hotty who's so superficial she ends up polishing off her own face, Pillowfight Girls is nothing more than a game with a title that's hoping to titillate those browsing the App Store.