GC 2008: It's shoveltime for the DS...

With great hardware sales comes great tides of shovelware. It's one of gaming's most tenacious truisms and never more so than with the DS.

If the collection of German shovelware that was proudly displayed on the Leipzig GC show floor is anything to go by, we wouldn't be surprised if the formula is reduced to Breathe-In, Breathe-Out Coach before the end of the year.

Seeing as there are few things more exhilarating for us jaded hacks than pointing at rubbish games and laughing at them, we decided to catalogue all of the horrors of DS shovelware that we could find on the Leipzig GC floor.

We've done our best to translate each title and review each one in one line. So without further ado...

Sofie's Freunde: Mode Akademie (Sofie's Friends: Fashion Academy)
Hanna Montana meets Trinny & Susanna

Einsatz Erde (Looking After the World)
Greenpeace meets The Beach Grove Garden meets Germany's environmental policies.

Kampf Der Giganten Dinosaur (Fight the Gigantic Dinosaur) Nintendinosaurs Wars.

Meine Nicht Raucher Coach (Quit Smoking Coach)
DS becomes a (preventative) cure for cancer.

Meine Vital Coach (My Life Coach)
Probiotic yogurt and yoga in DS form.

Petz
The letter 'S' is so 2001.

Das Verukte Labyrinth (The Crazy Labyrinth)
But probably just a regular labyrinth for David Bowie and Jennifer Connolly.

Think Training
To be completed BEFORE Brain Training.

Crazy Machines
Featuring bipolar electric tooth brushes and manic depressive lawnmowers (probably).

Scotland Yard
Is not for playing frisbee in apparently

Rubiks Puzzle World
You can't even peel the stickers off this one.

Sushi Academy
Well, it's a trade isn't it.

Sofie's Freunde: Wohntraum (Sofie's Friends: Dream Home)
Hanna Montana meets Grand Designs.

Bratz Kidz
Aren't they both just the same thing anyway?

Element Girls
There's going to be a fight for who gets to be fire.

Germany's Next Top Super Model
Du bist weiter! (you are through!)

My Boyfriend
Is sadly a fictional character that lives in my DS.

Western Ferd (Western Horse)
You can lead a horse to water…

Meine Tierartzpraxis (My Animal Doctor Hospital)
So is that animals who are also doctors who are ill?

Meine Beauty Hotel fur Tier (My Beauty Hotel for Animals)
Nintendogs meets Trinny & Susanna.

Bratz Poneyz
Inevitably the caZual kidZ genre reacheZ it's ZZzenith, MUST FIT MORE Zs.

Well there you have it, there were plenty of great DS games on the show floor at Leipzig, but none of them are in the above list. Now let us at some Spore Creatures or Sonic Chronicles: the Dark Brotherhood before our faith in the DS is tarnished forever!