Harem Monkey Review

Gambling is a mug's game and everyone knows it. Even the most diehard steal-from-your-loved-ones blackjack addict has a small part of their mind which knows the odds, the payouts and the fact that they don't exactly weigh in the favour of the punter.

Harem Monkey is a game that manages to indulge both the side of our brain that harbours the nicks and scars that foster the sorts of addictive traits which lead us all, on our bad days, to hand away our dignity in an eggcup, AND the side of our consciousness that's looking from above, chortling with a sort of pre-emptive hindsight. As a cherry on top, we are also treated to a harem full of exotic beauties to fumble away our fistfulls of hardearned cash that we have somehow managed to keep away from the hands of the dealer.

Unlike the majority of mobile gambling games, Harem Monkey forgoes the traditional cardgames of the casino for that most tricky of parlour pursuits, the ball under a cup game. Considering that this is a game of illusion and basically downright fraud rather than skill, it might seem like a strange focus for a game, but Harem Monkey shows that its tongue is lodged firmly in the outmost walls of its oral cavity by making our fraudster not a human at all, but a monkey.

The little blighter flips the cups like a pro, forcing you to keep your eyes firmly glued on the screen with retina-straining alacrity. Of course, cheating is perhaps the most integral part of the cups game, so you might be wondering what the point of giving yourself a pixel-induced headache when the monkey can at any point decide that you're not going to win.

Thankfully, this is one of the best-judged parts of the game. The monkey goes easy on you for the first few rounds, making for a few easy wins, but when he gets to thinking that perhaps your pockets are getting a little full, he gives you the heads up that he doesn't always comply with European gambling legislations. After this, if your bet is a little too large, he'll cheat, making it nigh on impossible to accurately judge where the ball is.

The way to win big is to sacrifice a moderate sum to the cheating little scoundrel, then bet big straight afterwards since he does not often cheat twice in a row. Once you've amassed a respectable fortune, you can make your way to the harem's homeground where a large pile of currency will get the girls to relieve themselves of their clothes. There are six girls in total, designed to cater for most tastes outside of the kinky.

As a final slice of cheek, if you don't get to fully disrobe the ladies, the next time you return to the harem, the girl will be once more fully clothed. Each successive piece of clothing costs exponentially more to remove, so the amount of money you go into the harem with is another thing to judge.

So far so good, then. Visually the game is solid, too, with a pleasing visual sheen and a not-too-offensive softcore-style approach to full frontal nudity.

So much praise, such a modest score? Well, Harem Monkey can't score too highly because whilst what's here is acceptable, there simply isn't much gameplay content at all.

Playing cups can only remain entertaining for so long, and you'll probably get bored before you tease all six girls out of their clothes. For a quick bit of adult fun you could certainly do worse, but if gaming is your first concern, you should probably look elsewhere.