There are many tales of brave knights and their steeds, but few have the gravitas of The Legend of Beef Face and His Trusty Horse Cake Legs.
Through many jousting-based trials, this pair of computer-generated heroes forged a legacy of smashed lances and victory poses.
The noble art of the joust might not seem like the perfect subject matter for a video game, but Joust Legend makes for an interesting, if a little repetitive, action game with some pretty decent touchscreen controls.His face is made of beef
Beef Face isn't the best of knights, and he knows the horse beneath him, Cake Legs, isn't the quickest of horses. Still, they work well together as a team. Or at least they do when I get the sliding and tapping right.
You control Joust Legend via a series of bars. First, you need to control the launch speed of your horse. You hold a finger down on the screen, which starts the bar filling up, then release it when it's in the right place to drive your steed on.
Next, you have to lower and correctly position your lance. First, you swipe down on the screen, then you tap to position the wooden pole on one of the scoring positions on the bar. By holding down a finger, you will raise your lance higher. By releasing your digit, you will lower it.
It's an unwieldy weapon, though, so you need to be careful not to mess up your attack and miss out entirely. There are four hit spots on your opponent: the targe, the body, the helm, and the crest. By hitting these, you pick up different multipliers (the body is the worst, while the crest is the best).
The better your start, the more likely you are to smash your lance and thus gain extra bonuses. As you fight, you'll find boosts and buffs you can equip at the start of each round to give you even more points.His legs are made of cake
Joust Legend is cut up into different chunks, with success in one tournament opening up the next piece of a different part of your career.
On the subject of progress, you can spend the cash you earn on upgrading your armour, your weapons, or your horse.
Beef Face will eventually outgrow Cake Legs, then - like a child outgrowing its first garishly coloured, oddly named bike. But I'll always remember the days we spent bashing men's heads in with long sticks. And you might, too.