Danger Boat is a good name.
It suggests high-octane thrills, breakneck speeds, and boats. It sounds like an '80s TV show or the vehicle an Action Man villain might drive. It sounds awesome.
But Pixelocity's Danger Boat is none of those things. It's actually a very slow and placid endless-runner, and about as dangerous as a rock with all the pointy bits filed off.
Here, killer missiles lazily meander across the screen, as if wading through treacle. Waves splash - not crash - into rocks. Enemy submarines pop up to casually toss a few mines into the sea before getting bored and submerging back into the abyss.Danger is my middle name
All in all, Danger Boat is a very prosaic experience. You simply weave between rocks, comfortably dodge missiles, and hop over the odd ramp until your inevitable death. It's never exciting, and rarely engaging.
It doesn't do much to excite in the game design stakes, either. It employs all the cliches you've seen in every other endless-runner - three micro-missions, a shop full of boosts, upgrades, cosmetic changes, and in-app purchases - and nothing unique.
The only real way it stands apart is in its semi-realistic boat physics. You don't just jump from lane to lane - you bob and weave and bank in the water.
It definitely makes zig-zagging through the slalom stations - which give you power-ups - a frequent little thrill. Or, at least, a brief respite from the humdrum, achingly-dull rest of the game.Danger Boat is dull and I wouldn't care if I never played it again in my entire life. It's a damn shame to see Pixelocity follow up the ambitious and original Disc Drivin' with something so bland, played out, and generic.