I do not know anything about BTS. I had to ask people what BTS was. Someone suggested it was an acronym for British Transport System, and I almost believed them, had a legion of K-pop fans not nearly removed their fingers for tweeting blasphemy.
So BTS, as it turns out, is a Korean boyband that has taken the world by storm. I mean, not me or anyone I can hold a conversation with, but some people in the world at least.
And you can feel the frankly terrifying love and admiration for these boys through their mobile game. Yes, they have their own mobile game from Korean giant Netmarble, and it involves you putting together BTS.
It's 2012, you're in Korea for some reason, and you've been tasked with putting together the very hottest boyband. Luckily, you know the future, and you know BTS will take the world by storm. Which feels a bit like cheating, but let's put that to one side for now.
You happen to run into a bunch of the BTS boys, and before you know it, you're their new agent and manager, putting the group together and taking them from rags to riches. A classic story.
In this iteration of this beloved fairytale, you will be finding each of the members, uniting them together, and interacting with them on a frankly terrifying, personal level.
Like, honestly, having the BTS boys butt-dial you, you listening in on them, and them texting them later to tell them how adorable they are? That, my friends, should require a trip to HR and a big complaint, but I guess anything goes in Korea.
I know you want to listen in on the BTS boys and tell them they're cute, and this is the game for you, but which BTS boys are best, according to someone who didn't know what BTS was only a few hours ago? Well let's run through our list, from the best, to the worst, in that order…