For crying out loud. It's bad enough that a black hole is trying to guzzle me down. I don't need my spaceship to be terrible at steering too.
Sorry. I need to calm down. This is what happens if you play Wonky Ship.
It's fun, I promise, but it takes a while to be anything but awful at it. I did do a flip once, though. Got bonus points for that. Pretty proud.
The idea in this game is to avoid being swallowed by a black hole. You have a spaceship and can control its thrusters.
The left side controls the left thruster and the right side controls the right thruster. Press both sides of the screen at the same time and you can sorta go forward.
The problem is that, yes, trying to steer this ship ends up being very hard. It's the worst spaceship ever. And you do, indeed, go wonky.
Making matters worse, meteorites regularly fall down the screen. You get a warning beforehand as to where they'll appear but trying to get out of the way is something else.
There's a multiplayer mode that lets you bring more terrible spaceships onto the screen. That must be a nightmare.
So, yes, gluttons for punishment, this is a game for you. You can download Wonky Ship for free on the App Store.