Battle Golf is utterly stupid. And I mean that in the best way possible.
It turns a pedestrian sport into a surreal, breakneck experience, and it does so on a single screen with the help a massive lake, some holes atop giant aquatic wildlife, and the means to knock out your opponent.A funny old game
In single-player, Battle Golf is a time-attack score challenge, where you sink as many holes-in-one as possible in 60 seconds.
You're at the edge of a large expanse of water, and holes rise up from the depths, awaiting your swinging skills.
Most have banked edges, helpfully directing your ball towards the hole. However, the wildlife-based ones are all flat, and that much trickier because of it.
The controls are simple - tap once to stop your oscillating aiming arrow, and again to halt a power meter. Then just hope you got everything right and / or no seagulls are blocking your ball's path to the hole.
Success adds another five seconds to the clock.
Two-player is where the real fun is, though. You and an opponent use a single device, in a first-to-five battle. If you're feeling devious, you can smack your rival in the head with a ball, giving you precious seconds alone to score a point.
In a sense, it's really closer to Super Stickman Golf 2's race mode, albeit condensed into a single screen, and with a giant pink octopus as an occasional target.
Alas, there's no online play, and, to be honest, Battle Golf may be short-lived.
But it's fun, immediate, colourful, free, and almost certain to have you come to blows with a chum when a jammy shot into a whale's blowhole sneaks another contest 5-4.