Game Reviews

Duke Nukem 3D

Star onStar onStar halfStar offStar off
|
| Duke Nukem 3D
Get
Duke Nukem 3D
|
| Duke Nukem 3D

15 years after the launch of Duke Nukem 3D, it's clear that times have changed when it comes to standards of decency in entertainment.

The Duke created a huge controversy around its pixelated pornographic content and general attitude towards women. Now we barely bat an eyelid when a pair of breasts appears during violent video game cut-scene.

Moral standards change, but gameplay endures. Duke Nukem 3D is still good fun all these years later, but this Android release is simply awful, thanks to crap controls and a cheeky pricing system.

Your Android. Your ass. What's the difference?

You play as Duke, and you're out to kill as many nasty-looking monsters and pigs dressed as policemen as possible, while also ogling naked ladies along the way.

It's a straight-up classic shooter, with the goal simply to blast everything that moves, grab keycards, and reach the exits. There are also times to beat and secrets to find, adding up to a decent amount of content.

Unfortunately, poor controls utterly undermine this Android version.

It's a dual-stick motion, so the left-hand side of the screen lets you move forwards, backwards, and strafe while everywhere else lets you turn and aim.

However, a large portion of the right-hand side is also taken up by buttons for shooting, crouching, and the like, and you'll accidentally be pressing those over and over again while trying to move.

Even when you do manage to walk around properly, it never feels right, and firefights are really difficult as a result. Don't even bother setting the difficulty to the highest, as you'll be dead within seconds of meeting your first enemy.

I'm all out of patience

The control issue is compounded by the original design of the game, meaning areas that were merely annoying before are excruciating now.

Since Duke can't look directly up, the (many) enemies that fly over his head are even worse to deal with on the touchscreen, while the platforming sections are nigh-on impossible with the virtual joystick - even getting on the crate to the first level's RPG took us several attempts.

The way you pay for the game is pretty sneaky, too. It appears that you're paying a single dollar for the whole thing, but this isn't the case - you only get the first episode of the three. No doubt lots of people will buy the game thinking its the whole kaboodle, and be very disappointed.

Duke Nukem 3D for Android is fine if you're looking for a little bit of nostalgia, but it won't be nearly as good as you remember.

Duke Nukem 3D

A fairly loyal translation of an FPS classic hampered by rubbish controls
Score
Mike Rose
Mike Rose
An expert in the indie games scene, Mike comes to Pocket Gamer as our handheld gaming correspondent. He is the author of 250 Indie Games You Must Play.