Russian Fishing

A lot has been made of the recent spate of iOS games flooding onto the Android Market seeking shelter (or, in the case of MiniSquadron, seeking a more welcoming audience).

There's another mobile platform that the Market’s been seeing quite a few refugees from recently, however.

It’s from the lakes of Java that Russian Fishing comes splashing, holding a battered rod and a chilled bottle of vodka to present to its new Android owners.

And you’ll need that vodka, because while the original game managed to grab a Pocket Gamer Bronze Aware in its native country, this conversion doesn’t speak the language.

Let’s get the first part of the title out of the way, because there’s nothing particularly Russian about the game, bar maybe the abundance of perch and the ridiculous inflation going on in the shop.

Even the currency isn’t in Roubles, instead falling back on the incredibly generic ‘coins’. These are gathered up magically by reeling in fish from the nearby lake – the bigger and rarer the fish, the more money is deposited in your piggy bank.

Only three fishing spots are unlocked at the start of the game, due to your fisherman being unable to afford more than an inflatable dinghy. Don’t get your hopes up about seeing the other six unlockable areas anytime soon, as the other boats take hours of fishing to afford.

The Java version’s main hook (I apologise) was in its fishing mechanics, which varied between sudden bursts of frantic button-hammering and quieter moments of contemplating whether bream was uglier than trout.

In the Android version, the button hammering has been replaced with stroking the screen in the direction of on-screen prompts. Rather than feel like an intense fight with an underwater monster, it now feels like you’re calming it like a worried father would a sleeping child.

Whereas the controls have been subdued, the graphics have remained steadfastly the same – meaning that no matter which fishing spot you end up in, it won’t be particularly attractive to look at.

With an upgrade system deliberately designed for mindless grinding, controls that feel detached from what’s on screen, and dull, lifeless graphics, Russian Fishing should be thrown straight back in the lake.