Features

Back to school apps - games for gangs, cliques and groups

Nerds, emos, jocks, downloads for all

Back to school apps - games for gangs, cliques and groups
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School is defined by its groups and gangs, the stereotypical cliques that automatically split classrooms full of kids into self-contained posses.

They’re characterised by their looks, interests and their place on the social hierarchy.

But no matter where you fall on the grand board of Hollywood high school movie tropes - be you nerd, goth, jock, cheerleader or skater - there are iPhone apps for all of ya’ in this tenuously time-sensitive feature!

Nerds

Bespectacled boffins, usually found in the library telling programming horror stories on the plains of Azeroth. These guys and gals like games, period, but apps that involves maths, critical thinking or science will especially fly with these geeky bookworms.

Isaac Newton’s Gravity (Namco Networks America)

A sharp mind and a penchant for problem debunking is needed to clear this puzzle game’s series of challenging, brain-melting stages. You’ve got to arrange a toybox full of objects so the trigger is hit, which requires “cleverness and creativity”, says the iTunes description. If you’re stuck, legendary physicist Isaac Newton is your personal hint-provider.

Osmos (Hemisphere Games)

Single-cell organisms jettisoning water about a microscopic sea, as they absorb smaller motes through osmosis. It’s like the best science lesson ever in the form of a rocking iPhone and iPad adventure. Plus, it requires the sort of patience and zen-like endurance earned from all-night coding sessions.

Jocks

Meat headed bullies that excel only in sports, athletics and the ancient art of the wedgie. These beefy football players don’t have the patience or brain cells for anything with depth or, god forbid, a tutorial, so easy-to-digest sports games are on the menu.

Flick Kick Rugby (PikPok)

Whatever sport your favourite jock plays, be it Rugby, American Football or Soccer, New Zealand developer PikPok has a tasty time-wasting iPhone app for them. These pocket money apps distill those thoroughly complicated sports into a single moment of addictive joy: mindlessly booting a ball between a couple of great big poles. Hooray.



Madden NFL 11
(EA)

This one might take a few more brain cells, because EA’s authentic sports sim manages to recreate the entire NFL experience on the iPhone and iPad, with all them passes and balls and men and things. If your jock is especially smart, they can draw out routes and plan plays with touchscreen player management.

Goths

What’s the difference between a goth and an emo? Is there a difference? I don’t know these things, I just know their favourite colour is black, their favourite mood is abject melancholy and they pull sweat bands over their wrists when their mum picks them up.

5 Minutes to Kill (Yourself) (Turner Broadcasting System)

Ah, self harm, the go-to stereotype of our youths' milky-pale, gloomy goths. Hopefully Adult Swim’s speedy auto-mutilation sim will prove to be so damn addictive, as players smash their faces into photocopiers and do headstands on paper shredders, that they’ll forget all about slashing up their own wrists.

Soul (Kydos Studio)

Spooky, morbid fun that has you transporting the soul of a dead man to its eternal rest, which just happens to be at the end of a bunch of ludicrously twisty turny corners. Personally, I found it to be the most ridiculously difficult thing to ever grace my iPod, but hey, it’ll give them something to do between KoRn gigs.

Skaters

The skater of boards, the listener of punk rock, the breaker of rules. These guys and gals have an encyclopedic knowledge of skateboarding tricks, and usually ditch the odd class to perform them. While they have other hobbies, like graffiti and watching skate videos and anarchy, they probably just want to use their iPhone for more skateboarding. Ask and ye shall receive.

Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 (Activision)

It might be old, but its one of the best games ever about a silly plank of wood with four silly little wheels. On the bell curve of Tony Hawk games, from incredible gravity defying PlayStation ecstasy to Jackass-inspired crap, it’s certainly in the former camp. Despite the lack of original music, this remake is a pretty impressive port and plays rather well on the iPhone’s button-less form factor.

Skate It (EA)

Skate and Tony Hawk are pretty much polar opposites: the birdman is about flying twenty feet into the sky, pulling off sixteen different grab moves and racking up a billion points in a single combo. Skate, on the other hand, is about leaping up two feet in the air, messing up a kick-flip, and landing flat on your face. If realism is your thing, Skate’s got it in spades.

Mark Brown
Mark Brown
Mark Brown is editor at large of Pocket Gamer