During the height of the Cold War, governments around the world told their citizens that, should the worst come to the worst, they should hide under their kitchen table. There, underneath the strength of four wooden legs, they would be safe.
Yes, the whole world spent decades living in fear of a weapon that apparently couldn't even take out your average piece of flatpack furniture from Ikea.
I have a sneaking suspicion that nuclear weapons were slightly more powerful than they would have had us believe. Unless, of course, their collective intelligence gathered their info from a spell or two on iBomber.
Sky's the limit?
Damning as that sounds, there's reason to believe that the warfare served up here is lacking punch. Though play essentially takes the same form as iBomber on iPhone, the transition hasn't treated the game well.
The game takes place in the watery WWII battleground that was the Pacific, your job to glide around up above in your aircraft, dropping bombs on each and every ship, turret, warehouse and, indeed, any sign of life whatsoever marked off on the radar.
The initial set-up is simple: the game takes control of your acceleration while steering and speed are both handled via the number keys.
The most important button, however, is the '5' key. Pressing it triggers the release of your oh-so-explosive cargo, and much of your success relies on you gauging just how long it'll take each bomb to reach its target.
The problem is, the game isn't very accurate. Rather than iBomber animating each bomb's fall in full, as in the iPhone version, here you barely even notice it drop.
It's as if the developer doesn't believe that the smaller screen can really do the game's original targeting system justice, with whole sweeps of the map taken out in one drop as opposed to the precise targeting required in the original.
The controls aren't especially user-friendly, either. All too often you find yourself flying around in circles, desperately trying to maneuver and re-maneuver your position so you can drop your load with some kind of precision, all while you absorb fire from your foe.
All in all, much like scores of early console to mobile ports, this is a conversion that hasn't been handled with sufficient care. There are far too many compromises made to insulate its leap to mobile and, as a result, the game feels incomplete, muddled, and more importantly, not much fun.
Bombs away? If only.