Leave your wallets at the door. In fact, open them up and throw all of your cash out into the street for passing tramps to scuffle over. You won’t be needing it anymore.
Actually don’t do that, it’s demeaning to your fellow man and detrimental to your cash flow. Just pay attention instead. Have we got your attention?
Okay, on PSP there’s another new demo this week (the third in as many weeks, no less), this time of R-Type Tactics 2: Operation Bitter Chocolate version B. As the demo is in Japanese we're going to assume that the storyline focuses on a dangerous mission to deliver a kilogram bar of 97 per cent pure cacao Green & Black's to some sort of space confectioner, while doing battle with cyber dentists along the way. Or possibly something a little more farfetched.
That, to be fair, is unlikely. What isn’t, however, is that the language barrier won’t matter a damn when you have screamed yourself hoarse having succumbed to R-Type’s legendary difficulty. You can get the demo directly from the ever faithful Sony PSP Demo Centre.
DS fans have very little to keep them warm as the unforgiving winter months close in. Trust Pokémon to be the console’s only source of warmth in these dark days, then.
With a European release of Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky just around the corner, it’s worth paying the official Pokemon Mystery Dungeon site a visit to re-familiarize yourself with the franchise and snaffle some gratis gaming treats while you're there.
There are mini-games, wallpapers, songs – all that jazz and all for the cost of a pint of fresh air. Admittedly meagre but, come on, this is the DS ferchristsakes!
Lastly, the iPhone. You already know full well that you can find out about all of the best free games via The free iPhone games Trawler Report and grab the iPhone gaming audio podcast for free. But did you know about our How Tos?
Resident guru Spanner Spencer published an enlightening how to this week on listening to your iPhone in the shower. Genius doesn’t even come close to describing that man’s talents.
And with that, we’ll leave you for another seven days. Remember to click ‘Track It!’ to be sure not to miss next week’s helping of handheld gaming freebies, won't you?