Battle Bears isn't having any of this 'good versus evil' stuff. In this world of cute and cuddly teddy bears, what you think of as safe and serene has been turned on its head and is actually the greatest threat to your very being: a hug.
It's probably possible to hug someone to death, but you wouldn't expect such an atrocity to be committed by a group of cute and bouncy pink teddy bears. Those sweet, angelic teddies are your mortal enemy, nonetheless, your job being to stand behind a stack of sand bags and take them out as quickly as you can.
In what's essentially a shooting gallery with fluffy monsters, you use a finger on the right side of the screen to aim at the approaching hordes of bears, tapping and releasing another on the left to fire your rifle.
The further you progress, the more weapons you unlock - the most amusing of which is a loudspeaker, which you can use to broadcast swearwords and other assorted extremities to halt their progress for a second. Each stage comes to an end as soon as you've cleared the hills of all the bounding bears.
The bears themselves actually do very little but charge towards you, cooing and giggling as they come. The standard pink variety is outclassed when it comes to speed by special golden bears and in terms of size when it comes to the big blue beauties that wander into view. The goal with all of them, however, is to aim for the head, slicing it clean off with your bullet and revealing a vertical gush of rainbow-coloured blood as a reward.
That, besides some rather amusing cut-scenes that sandwich the levels, is it. But, that's all there needs to be. This game is a short, sharp bit of fun – it knows its limits and it doesn't attempt to cross them. Though a touch difficult, Battle Bears is nonetheless a quality piece of fluff in its own right.