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Flash loving Android, the iPhone doesn't understand the British and psychotherapy via download

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Flash loving Android, the iPhone doesn't understand the British and psychotherapy via download
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Kia Ora!

Pocket Gamer would like to add its vote to the iPhone and Android's petition to have Adobe's Flash framework added to the handset's roster of add-ons. Not because of the fancy banner adverts we'd be able to see, or even for the outside possibility that a few browser-based games might become available, but because we're utterly sick of the hourly news items about whether or not anyone's working on the solution. Seriously, the iPhone and Flash are worse than Ross and Rachel.

Oh, will they, won't they? They have so much history together. If they did get back in bed, things couldn't possibly be the same… simper, whine, moan.

Just put us out of our bloody misery and put Flash on the bloody iPhone you morons! Apple executives are the only ones who think it's a big freakin' deal anyway! It only gets used for crap movie trailers and emoticon adverts these days, so who cares! Christ, if that's all I had to worry about I'd count myself very f****** lucky!

Er, anyway, the Android's getting it, apparently.

In less irritating news, a Japanese university has implemented a psychotherapy system for the modern mobile user (which could be very useful to us all if this bloody iPhone/Flash nonsense goes on for much longer! Sorry, that was the last one). An over-the-air Q&A session supposedly helps to ascertain your state of mind and combat daily depression by offering helpful advice. It'll also prompt those of a less stable disposition to seek a more traditional for of face-to-face therapy if things aren't looking too special inside the user's skull.

It sounds like the new president elect, Barack Obama, might be in need of some telephonic cognitive adjustments, too. The certified member of Crackberry Anonymous (a support group for people who obsessively check their BlackBerry) is being forced to give up his beloved handset. According to a news report, concerns over the security of a president reviewing his own electronic correspondence means his BlackBerry will be forfeit once he takes office. He's just going to have to take up a more traditional politician's vice, like drinking, philandering or sadomasochism, I guess.

He's not alone, however. A delicious little fluff piece crossed the Pocket Picks news goblins' desk this week about an iPhoner's overfull handset. With more than 105 apps loaded into his pocket (not including the packaged programs like Safari and iTunes), his published screen captures are quite a testament to the iPhone's remarkable stability (even if it doesn't have Flash. Sorry), and although I wouldn't want to have to hunt through all of those just to make a phone call, perhaps this is a sign of things to come for the connected iCommuter?

He also highlights how much we're drifting away from using our mobiles purely as communication tools. Ebook readers are immensely popular these days, and as anyone with a DS flash cartridge probably knows, eComics are equally awesome. A new iPhone app, ComicZeal, is now offering (legal) digital comics from the Golden Age for your Apple handset. The images can be rotated, zoomed into and flicked like any iPhone picture, and it even comes with its own desktop application so you can create your own (illegal) digital comics.

There's a surprising lack of new handsets this week, as we draw to a close, so it's worth making light of the iPhone's apparent inability to understand the British accent, instead. The new Google app is having a hard time with our many regional accents, offering up spurious suggestions for simple phrases such as 'iPhone', or 'MySpace'. Just don't ask it for a teacake, as you only have to travel five miles in Britain before small, round pieces of bread change their designation.

The couple of handsets we do have to fawn over are beauties, though. We took a quick look at it the other week, and it seems to have been gathering momentum ever since.

LG's Prada II handset is shaping up to be a hot contender for style phone of the year, with its slide out QWERTY now being accompanied by a Prada branded Bluetooth watch. Ultra tasty, and way out of your price range, but we can all dream, eh?

And finally, what's better than a slide out keyboard? Two slide out keyboards, obviously! The iCEphone has your typical QWERTY shelf, with another slide out with extra function keys, like CAPS LOCK and CTRL on it. The triple-slice handset even has a Space Ghost/Leela wrist mount, making it an extra futuristic techy treat.

Kia Ora!

Spanner Spencer
Spanner Spencer
Yes. Spanner's his real name, and he's already heard that joke you just thought of. Although Spanner's not very good, he's quite fast, and that seems to be enough to keep him in a regular supply of free games and away from the depressing world of real work.