The Buzz: Life is the Pitch
This Week, The Bee shares some of his favourite video game pitches
Every month there are many more than 30 games publishing for the gaming platforms, some of them are good and some are not very good. This is not include the Nintendo DS of course, which has approximately 1,000 new games every month, but most are worth forgetting. It is like junk mail advertising disease and assault.
My Health Coach? The Bee thinks Ubisoft should make a game My Game-Design Coach... and then playing it!
But even though there are so many games to make it on the shelves of Play.com, for every one in the world there are ten concepts floating like noodles in what my friend Andelko calls "the consomme of unborn thoughts."
Of course he means 'cosmos' but his English is not wise and making me laugh!
Oh lord. During the years, The Bee has been watching the trends of the videogame industry and he is now expert to make several pitches of his own. Of course he will not give you the ones that are 'bankers'. The Bee hopes to retire on the proceedings of his best ideas.
These five are not merit for retirement - perhaps a short holiday in Bucharest or Zagreb. They are yours for free.
5 Wonderful Pitch
Owl Simulator
PC, DS, Wii
Take to the sky and hunt for lesser animals as you wield talons to dominate! The forest will tremble beneath your primal shadow and hopefully you will kill everything.
• Choose from three species, includes Tawny Owl, Barn Owl, and Owl
• Full head rotation.
• Many fun mini-games, includes 'Feed Rat Organs to Chick', 'Spot the Hiding Squirrel', and 'Bone Tetris'.
• 16 colours!
• Charming 2D visuals!
Target age: 18+
Summary: What is it like to be an owl? It is a hoot!
Vietnam Maths Challenge
Wii, DS Pitch: Everybody is loving brain training to improve his memory, but you may have forgotten what everybody also likes… Vietnam!
Jimi Hendrix, tie-die headband, Russian Roulette, fire mission, helicopter evacuations, casualties, Agent Orange, glorious communist victory - boom! Many nice films are coming from this conflict like a bullet from an M16 assaulting rifle into the unsuspecting lungs of delighted audiences - it is hitting them in the lungs and they are dying of laugh!
Now it is our turn. Good morning games about Vietnam, begin with Vietnam Maths Challenge.
• More than five musical tracks including 'All Along the Watch Tower', 'Masters of War', and 'San Francisco'.
• Many fun facts to amaze and delight, e.g. "did you know the average age of casualties was 23?"
• Meet Sgt Steven, your drill instructor, he will coach you through your maths problems and call you a maggot!
• Many fun games including 'Count the Limbs', 'How Many Vietcong are Waiting in the Foxhole?' and 'Quickly Calculate the Coordinates for the Fire Mission.'
• Up to four profiles!.bmp)
Summary: Get ready for your tour of fun!
My Little Medical Emergency Helper
Wii, DS Pitch: The DS is more than games. It is lifestyle device to teach you how to function in adult society, to own a horse and cooking, but The Bee thinks it can be more solemn. We are all look forward to play Jamie Oliver's What's Cooking? but what if your wife is on fire?! What if your brother is crushed?! What if your husband is driving at night and boom! Blood is everywhere!
Instead of panic, try My Little Medical Emergency Helper, the lifestyle game to save life in style!
• Almost five scenarios, including 'Motorway Mayhem', 'Capsize Catastrophe,' and 'Tightrope Tragic'!
• Musical tracks include 'Disco Inferno,' and 'Candle in the Wind'.
• Breathe into the DS microphone to test your patients' peak expiratory flow!
• Rest your patients' wrist on touchscreen to measure pulse!
• Use Nintendo Wi-Fi Connection (if available) to contact emergency services!
• Design your own Last Will and Testament for victim to sign!
• Lovely graphics!
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Target age: 20+
Summary: It will make your pulse start!
Light Camera, Action!
PC, 360, PS3 Pitch: This is celebrity age and of course everybody would like being famous like The Bee. It is sad for most that only better people accomplish fame, but thanks to my game Light Camera, Action! it is possible to understand the challenge of celebrities.
But of course this game is not only celebrity simulation. People love fame and they love something else… violent crime. Light Camera, Action! is the completely original game with many elements. First you must commit crime to attract Cops television camera crew. Then you must be careful: if you are off the camera the 'Fame Meter' is depleted, but if you are arrested instantly the audience is yawning!
You must create fame with notorious crime. Then you are in court, and you must still be famous! If your crime is small you will only be on Judge Judy, achieving final status of petty working class failure. But if you make a big crime you can employ one famous defence attorney and it will all be televise and you can be excite!
Perhaps you even have what it takes to accomplish 'OJ' status!
• Levels include 'Car Chase', 'Hostage', 'Topless Cop Wrestling' and 'Courtroom Alliteration Challenge'.
• Action replays.
• Stunning graphical.
• Running Man multiplayer mode.bmp)
Summary: Crime + Camera = Benefit!
Mouse Tycoon
Wii, DS Pitch: The Bee has a joke: What do popular management games and mouse have in common? Everybody except elephants and women loves them! It is natural to make a game Mouse Tycoon so why not make my game Mouse Tycoon? It is complex management game with many things to think, but it boils down to a simple idea: buy the mouse, sell the mouse. But how you do it is entirely up to you!
• Strict goal-oriented gameplay
• Mini-games include 'Feed the Mouse', 'Catch the Mouse which has Escaped', 'Terminate Runt' and 'Mouse Copulate'!
• Genetic engineering!
• Five scenarios, include 'Pet Shop', 'Circus', and 'Cosmetic Test Laboratory'..bmp)
• Cute mouse!
Summary: It is time to brush up your 'squeakonimics'!
The Bee is an industry insider who has fed on the nectar of over three decades' worth of gaming. All opinions expressed are the author's own.