Flying Stickfighter

We've been waiting a long time for this game and while it doesn't tick all the possible boxes, Flying Stickfighter certainly does deliver kung fu movie shenanigans with a wry and cheesy smile.

But hey, let's just backtrack a bit.

What do we mean when we say we've been waiting? Readers who cackle with malicious glee when we say 'Xiao Xiao' will have their suspicions confirmed about the likely inspirational origins of Flying Stickfighter. For those who have no idea what a Xiao Xiao is (pronounced 'Shee-ow Shee-ow'), there's no suitable explanation - just check this animation. It takes a while to load but we'll wait for you...

All clued up on the exciting and stylistic life of Xiao Xiao now? Then you'll be intrigued to find out whether this game puts you in the two dimensional, monochromatic shoes of the matchstick warrior or not. Let's investigate.

Quite whether Flying Stickfighter is a savage pastiche, or just badly written, it's difficult to say. What's for certain is the dialogue and storytelling are pretty damn awful, which would be perfectly forgivable were this an attempt at recreating the badly-dubbed campness of a classic kung fu flick.

Is it?

Frankly we're not sure, but the severity of the grammar does cast doubt on whether the (deliberately?) lame backstory is a spoof or not. One way or another, reading about the unfortunate genesis of this matchstick superhero in a biker's helmet is a tad painful, but it does suitably set up the kitsch action.

A bullied schoolboy, it's your delight to find a suit that transforms you into a high-kicking, crime-fighting, justice-defending champion of the people. Thus, using your all-new combat abilities, the bizarrely-named Zola can thwart his bully nemesis and battle his way into the school's canteen.

Already you can see the broken tombola of a plot confusing matters, though it doesn't really detract from the stickfigure beat 'em up gameplay. If anything, it adds some indispensable smiles.

But stop that and look at your handset's keypad instead. Think of it as a plus shaped controller (including '1', '3', '7' and '9' as diagonal controls), and you'll find you're suitably equipped to enact a variety of martial arts manoeuvres which, combined with the automatic combo system, provide a wealth of karate moves that would make Xiao Xiao proud.

So once you've fathomed how to properly button-mash a phone's keypad, the empty hand fighting should flow effortlessly. Little else is required to navigate the various, multi-level terrains, beating up other matchstick men and engaging in disjointed, macho banter along the way.

From our somewhat cursory description, this doesn't seem like much of a game (I'm not sure this is much of a review either - Ed), but Xiao Xiao wouldn't sound like a particularly entertaining animation when broken down into its simplistic visuals and shallow plot either.

If nothing else, it's rare to see a mobile fighting game, so for that reason alone, the sheer novelty value of Flying Stickfighter makes it worth a bit of intense thumb exercise. Anyhow, the inherent cheesiness that initially suggests a low quality production soon becomes endearing, even if the nagging suspicion of deliberate B-movie veneer seems increasingly likely.

Indeed, by the time you've battled your way through a couple of levels, the jauntily violent nature of Flying Stickfighter becomes impossible to dislike. We think anyone who's ever cracked the slightest smile at kung fu antics will find themselves engrossed in the macho matchstick machinations of the heroic Zola. Let's go. Chop, chop.

Flying Stickfighter

Frantic beat-'em-up action is hard to come by on the mobile, so Flying Stickfighter's kung fu antics provide a suitably gratifying experience
Score
Spanner Spencer
Spanner Spencer
Yes. Spanner's his real name, and he's already heard that joke you just thought of. Although Spanner's not very good, he's quite fast, and that seems to be enough to keep him in a regular supply of free games and away from the depressing world of real work.