Porn Manager 2
|
| Porn Manager 2

Change can be good. It can open up new horizons and experiences (and we're not just talking about Microsoft's Vista). But it can also be bad, especially when it involves changing things that didn't need fixing, just tweaking.

Unfortunately, Porn Manager 2 falls into the latter category.

We liked the original Porn Manager, which involved building up an adult empire as Hugo Hafner. We didn't (only) like it because it was rude. We liked it because it was a very good strategy game.

However, Porn Manager 2 changes tack. Hugo has now retired to his mansion to enjoy the fruits of his labour. Being a porn magnate, he was hardly going to enjoy it alone, was he? That's where you come in. Your sole mission in Porn Manager 2 is to keep Hugo alive by, well, sleeping with girls.

You've got props to help you. Hafner's mansion is kitted out with everything a randy old pensioner could want, including a huge bed, personal lap dancing club, massive hot tub and the infamous grotto. But is that enough to keep your young companions happy? Oh no.

After attracting girls to the mansion, you have to convince them to stay, and then pamper them by attending to their every need, even when that conflicts with, erm, your needs. In theory – and in sad contrast to the reality of this particular O.A.P. fantasy – this means if you play the game right, you can go on forever.

HandyGames deserves praise for having the balls to try and take Porn Manager in a totally new direction. But we do have to question some of the decisions.

After all, one of the things that kept driving us to play Porn Manager was the challenge of unlocking just one more room before putting the game down. Here, with essentially nothing to do other than keeping Hugo alive, it becomes tiring and, to be frank, a bit boring.

There's probably 110 different ways Porn Manager 2 could have gone without the developers backing themselves into a corner, from having Hugo start up a porn magazine to running a TV channel. Instead, what we've got is a game with great production values, but very little substance. Like many porn movies, perhaps.

Needless to say, if you're prudish about adult stuff, you might not fancy whipping it out on the train for a quick session. Or this game, for that matter. Porn Manager 2 is more for showing off down the pub or playing at home.

We'd take issue with the sound, too. While suitably seedy, Porn Manager 2 seems very quiet. Maybe a good thing if you don't want to draw attention to your gaming tastes in public, of course.

But ultimately, our main criticism of Porn Manager 2 is that by losing its greatest strength – the business strategy side – the randy rompathon has gone from being an entertaining challenge to something that all too soon wilts and becomes a bother to keep up with.

Porn Manager 2

Proof that life as a senile tycoon with a mansion full of women isn't as much fun as it's cracked up to be
Score